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Jul 30

TGR’s Friday Flatulence

Posted by: R.A.Pedigo | Leave a Comment (4)
Category: Random Notes

The views and opinions expressed within this post do not necessarily represent the views of the TGR Crew. The author (R.A.) of the post is solely responsible
for the content.  In other words, holler at your mistress…

So, Rick, what did you do this week?  Really?  They asked you what?  You did what? Where? On the table?  or the floor? It took how long?  Down your leg? She drove you home?  Whatever Rick, you are always joking’ around… That is right everyone, sadly, the biggest story of the week, and possibly of the year thus far in the Bluegrass is the Karen Sypher trial.  By now you all know the story…the affair, the restaurant, the abortion, the rape allegation, the Extortion.  This week has only solidified my thoughts from before the trial started, Sypher is crazier than a fox on heroin and Rick is the creep I have always known he is.  The dirty laundry that is being aired out by the defense   and prosecution does not interest me in the least.  So what if Rick only lasted 15 seconds that hot July night in Porcini’s?  When I was a young single man, I would “quicken” the process too when the lucky lady had a face like that.  And so what if Rick ejaculated (first time for that word on this site, I will explain what it means to you later Puckett) down his leg, I am sure he is not the only one of us with a rig shaped like the faucet on your bathroom sink.  I am sorry to inform you Karen, but you are going to jail sweetie.  You can’t threaten an Italian-American without some repercussions.  The slammer beats those concrete shoes that were mentioned early on though.  The real question is this, how long will it take the ERupption Zone to start chanting, “Fif-teen Sec-onds! Clap clap, clap clap clap”, or will Rick even make a return to Rupp in 2 years?

The Cincinnati Bengals were the top story in the NFL this week, and surprisingly it was not for totally negative reasons, although some might find that to be debatable.  The Bengals signed free agent, Terrell Owens, to a 2 year deal.  If you are unaware of Mr. Owens he is a sure fire hall of fame receiver out of the University of Tennessee-Chattanooga.  T.O., while in the NFL, has also referred to former teammate and QB, Jeff Garcia, as a homosexual, divided a locker room in Philadelphia by his beef with Donovan Mcnabb, and lord only knows what he did in Dallas and Buffalo.  Now he joins forces with the NFL’s equivalent of T.O. Jr., Chad Ochocinco in Cincy.  I have no idea if this will work, they are both obvious ball catching freak shows, but I do know something, the Bengals will be one of the top 3 most entertaining teams to watch on Sundays.  I wonder what the odds are in Vegas that after a touchdown this year by either of the two, that the other starts a fist fight with the other in the end zone?  They are proclaiming to be the best of friends as of now, but what if Chad gets 5 catches in a game and T.O. only gets 3?  Will T.O. announce to the world that he knows that Chad and Carson Palmer are sleeping together?  I pull for the Bengals to win if they are not playing the Cowboys or Broncos, but this year I think I am pulling for an out and out carnival to erupt in Paul Brown more than anything.

The Governor’s Cup Luncheon was held this week at the Lake Forest Country Club, in Louisville.  It was the first luncheon for both school’s coaches, Louisville’s Charlie Strong and Kentucky’s Joker Phillips. Very little came out of the press conference/ luncheon of much importance.  The one very cool story is the eligibility of Kentucky’s Donte Rumph, who has committed to the Cats 3 times and until now, did not qualify academically.  Instead of the young man giving up, he stuck with it in prep school, and has made his dream of becoming a cat reality.  If that is not Lifetime movie of the week material, I don’t know what is.

Something else that I noticed about the luncheon is the real friendship Joker and Charlie possess.  The two coached together on the South Carolina staff many years ago and they spoke frequently of the day they would both be head coaches in Division 1 football.  Of course, they could never imagine that they would not only get their first D-1 jobs in the same year, they get the head coaching jobs of bitter rivals in the same state.  It is a cool story, and I am sure ABC will play it up on September 4th about how great friends are clashing and all of that, but, I am not sure I want my head coach at Kentucky to be friends with Louisville’s coach, or even care to be friendly to UofL’s coach.  I liked it better when Rich Brooks looked across the field at Bobby Petrino and thought that it would get no better than if he had the opportunity to choke him out.  I feel better about my hatred for the rival, if my coach feels the exact same way.  I feel that way now in basketball, I think cal will do more to win the Louisville game then he will any other game on the schedule, whether he admits it or not. When the students start up that chant I spoke of earlier, he may say it was not right, but I know he is laughing inside.  The bottom line is that I hope Joker and Charlie fall out soon over a recruit or a differing opinion on the oil spill or even over what they like on their pizza and Joker drives Charlie’s head into the Papa John’s turf with a pile driver in pregame warm-ups.  I don’t see that being a lot to ask of my coach at all.

Wednesday we gave you the story of TGR member, Patrick, who was supposed to go to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays game on his birthday July26, Monday, but didn’t because he is a girl.  That night, Matt Garza pitched the first no-hitter in Devil Ray history against the Detroit Tigers. Garza joined Ubaldo Jimenez, Dallas Braden, Roy Halladay, and Edwin Jackson as major League pitchers with a no-hitter in 2010, the 2nd most no-hitters in a season in the history of MLB. As you will remember, if not for a muffed call, Armando Galarraga would have been the 6th to join the no-hit club of 2010. Saying that, if Patrick was able to go to an MLB game without drinking 10 beers, he would have a “no no” under his belt to, so it all evens out, I think. Baseball experts have thrown around different ideas of why 2010 has become “The year of the pitcher”, but I don’t understand the argument.  It is obvious to anyone paying attention this pitching revolution is a direct result of the start of steroid testing by MLB.  The runs a game has not dropped that much this year, but without PEDs, good pitching is allowed, once again, to beat good hitting.  The league is full of stud pitchers and I have found major league Baseball to be more enjoyable to watch this year than I have in the past 10 years.  If we could only get the Reds, Braves, and Rays into the playoffs, October could be a lot of fun.

Finally, I was fortunate enough to be able to attend the HullabaLOU Music Festival at Churchill Downs last Saturday.  Being that I am not a “damn dirty hippy”, this was my first giant music festival of my career.  It was hot and the beer was cold and I saw quite a cornucopia of musical talents.  My HullabaLOU started with the band ’War’, who I knew I had heard of, but could not remember what songs they sang.  The first one I recognized was “Why can’t We Be Friends”, the second was “Low Rider”, both classics and the band was very good and spry for old guys.

The second band I saw was the legendary Steppenwolf .  “Magic Carpet Ride” is one of my favorite songs of the 70s and “Bad To The Bone” is one of the best “riding in the car” songs ever written.

The final two acts of the day I saw were on the main stage set up in between the dirt track and the turf course directly in front of the grandstand.  Saturday was the night for the big country acts, Jason Aldean and Kenny Chesney.  My love for Chesney is well documented and mocked among my close friends.  The tattoo I have of his face on my lower back is the only thing in my life I DON’T regret.  He rocked as always, even though several of the folks in attendance had “road construction orange” jerseys on with ‘Chesney’ on the back of them.  A man danced near my position with a pair of cut off, acid washed, Guess jeans that would have been hard to paint on to look that tight.  This did not help with the complex my friends have created with the constant ribbing of my fascination with Kenny.

Jason Aldean is one of my favorite new country starts, despite the fact he game on stage with a Georgia Bulldog t-shirt on Saturday.  The only thing I could think of while he sang his songs was that we beat your team’s ass in Athens between the bushes last year, and you have to come north for another ass kicking this year!  Go cats!

Have a lovely weekend readers.  If you need me, robp@tailgatereview.com

NastyN8 said on 07/30/2010 2:18 PM

Wonderful commentary, my friend. I don’t get the Kenny Chesney fascination, or even interest for that matter, but it’s life. Keep rockin’.

Ryan Fertig said on 07/30/2010 2:18 PM

You wreak flatulence RA.

NastyN8 said on 07/30/2010 2:18 PM

Correction to above comment: “…but it’s YOUR life.”

Ryan Richardson said on 07/30/2010 2:30 PM

This was a hella good post Rob, I enjoyed it.

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