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Aug 30

Looker(s) of the Week

Posted by: Nate Lowe at 1:00 pm | Leave a Comment (1)
Category: Looker of the Week

Due to my two-week hiatus from this website, I have a lot of catching up to do.  So, let’s get right to it.

Courtesy of Sports Illustrated

“Why?”  This is the question I would like to ask Roger Clemens.  Not only did the man incriminate his self by originally testifying before Congress in February 2008, but now he has decided to “take that sh*t to trial,” to quote the great The Last Mr. Bigg.  Is his ego really that big?  C’mon, Rog, everyone knows you took the juice.  Do you think we forgot about your little “roid rage” incident during game two of the 2000 World Series?  Allow the photo above to remind you.  You should have just admitted to using performance-enhancing drugs in the beginning and moved on with your life.  Now, for someone who should have been a no-doubter, it’ll be a good decade before you’re even considered to be inducted into the Hall of Fame.

Courtesy of VH1

Have you seen Chad Ochocinco’s show on VH1―”Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch?”  Well, if you haven’t, please do yourself a favor and watch an episode.  A forewarning, though, you might experience intense mixed emotions after watching 10 minutes.  It’s a helluva time.  My lovely wife has DVR’d every damn episode, which I shamefully look forward to watching each week.  It’s sad, I know.

Courtesy of MouthpieceSports.com

Beyond his show, however, did you also hear about his recent Twitter tweets?  During a preseason game against the Philadelphia Eagles, Ochocinco tweeted during prohibited hours, which is apparently a violation of NFL policy.  In fact, the use of cell phones, computers, or other electronic equipment by players and coaches is prohibited from 90 minutes before kickoff through the end of the game.  Then, more recently, ole Chad tweeted about his relationship with Evelyn Lozada.  And, no, she is not one of the women from his show on VH1.  You can imagine how well this went over with the VH1 producers.  Attaboy, Chad.

Finally, I would like to turn your attention to the infamous Glenn Beck.  For those of you who don’t personally know me, my political commentary can sometimes be misconstrued as “communist rhetoric,” as Pedigo recently noted.  I simply referred to my commentary as the truth; you can accept or refute it, I don’t care.  Anywho, I’m sure many of you are well aware of Beck’s “Restoring Honor” rally this past weekend at the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in our nation’s capital.  Unfortunately, I was unable to watch this “historic” talk; however, after listening and reading numerous commentaries this morning, it seemed to be as somewhat uneventful.  I found this to be a bit surprising, since Beck is a well-known entertainer in the news media industry, along with the likes of Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, and Keith Olbermann.  Thousands of sheeple were in attendance, which leaves me wondering who is the greater “looker”―Beck or the sheeple?  You tell me.

Until next week, folks, stay elevated.  Go Cats!

As always, if you have a good candidate for “Looker of the Week,” please let us know.  And remember, refrain from making dim-witted remarks and/or engaging in ludicrous acts, or you may just be our next “Looker.”  Cheers!

Aug 25

Looker of the Week

Posted by: Ryan at 9:42 am | Leave a Comment (9)
Category: Looker of the Week

It’s Wednesday which means it’s not the traditional day we do the Looker of the Week post, but hey, we forgot. Since I don’t normally run with the looker post I thought that instead of deciding who the LOOK will be, you will. Here are your candidates:

Tyler Patrick Thomas: Oregon State Lineman, Tyler Patrick Thomas, otherwise known as “3-names” was tased and arrested by police after apparently breaking into a 30+ yr old woman’s home. Thomas was drunk and clearly uncertain of what he was doing but here is the kicker, he was naked! Police claim that upon entering the home and finding Thomas naked, he immediately dropped to a 3 point stance and charged cops, Thomas was then tased. Oregon State head football coach Mike Riley immediately dismissed him from the team with no questions asked.

The City of Louisville, Kentucky: How in the world do you give an entire city the “look” of the week? Well, you could start with a University that resides in this city or the fans that support it but this one is directed at the weather. Yeah, yeah, it’s stupid, but according to Forbes.com and some absurd calculation, Louisville came in as this summer’s hottest city and we are talking about heat. According to the record books, this summer has been the hottest in terms of averages as well as days in the 90’s and 100’s.  Here is a snippet: “Louisville, Ky., according to analysis of data from the National Oceanographic Atmospheric Administration. Louisville has spent the most days above normal temperatures beginning in June, according to NOAA: a total of 73 for June, July and up to Aug. 17. The city normally sees summer high temperatures ranging from 83 in June to 87 in July. But this year it logged nearly all of June and July above normal, and it spent every day in August, up to Aug. 17, above normal. Still, it hasn’t broken its record 107-degree day, set in 1936.

Skydiver: It doesn’t happen at every game you attend, but from time to time we are graced with the flying skydivers that land on the field during a baseball or football game. It gets the kids excited and it’s cool for about 2 seconds. Enter the candidate in the photo above from Tuesday night’s Twins/Rangers baseball game and you have a classic “looker”. The (get this) unidentified U.S. Army skydiver was un-injured and was immediately brought to safety. However, all of the other skydivers landed where they were supposed to, on the field.

So there you have it TGR faithful. 2 strong candidates and one sub-par. Who deserves the “looker” of the week? My vote, dude rocking the mullet.

Aug 16

Looker Of The Week

Posted by: R.A.Pedigo at 2:00 pm | Leave a Comment (4)
Category: Looker of the Week

This week’s ‘Looker’ is well known within the TGR circle of morons.  He is known among us as a man who has perfected the “Sprinkler”, “Lawn Mower”, and “Shopping cart” dances over his years as class clown. He drinks Pearl in a can and Jack Daniels Black and Chews tobacco from a mail pouch sack.

Some find his politics to be nothing more than communist rhetoric.  His political status’s on face book bore even the most left handed liberals.  President Obama actually downloaded the “dislike” button on face book just to show his disagreement with one of this man’s views.

The reason that we are honoring our friend today with this most prestigious of awards is for only one reason.  Over the past months, this man has taken this day and post to inform you, our readers, of something dumb or ridiculous another of our fellow citizens has done in order to embarrass themselves or their family.  He has taken great pleasure in informing you of the person’s down fall as a human being.  Today, I am here to inform you of his.  You see, the man I am speaking of has one weekly post on this fine website that he is in charge of.  The “Looker of the Week” has been his project for some time now.  He is rarely, if ever, asked to produce any more material for the site, only the one Monday post. In the past few weeks, he has failed to produce this, his only post, twice now.

It is for this reason that I would like to proudly present this week’s ‘Looker’ to the one and only, Mr. Nasty Nate! I will not lie to you, as you have done to past winners, and tell you that we are going to send you a TGR t-shirt, those don’t exist.  Instead I will only wish you god’s speed and wisdom in your later years of your life.  I love you, looker!

Aug 9

Looker of the Week

Posted by: Nate Lowe at 2:45 pm | Leave a Comment (2)
Category: Looker of the Week

(AP Photo/Tony Dejak)

Let’s face it, Tiger Woods could have been the “Looker” several times over the past year.  Quite honestly, I’m unsure as to why I’ve waited so long to anoint him as “Looker.”  He has undoubtedly provided plenty of evidence worthy of such a label.  But, in my opinion, his performance this past weekend at the WGC-Bridgestone Invitational truly solidified his worthiness of the “TGR Looker of the Week.”

As ESPN writer Gene Wojciechowski noted, “Woods played like a 22-handicapper.”  He was vulnerable.  He was terrible.  He gave up.  He was…was…human!  I say this with complete confidence:  I think I could have played with Tiger on Saturday, but preferably on Sunday when he shot a cool 77.  Yep, that ridiculous display of professional golf made him 18 over par for the tournament.

What’s interesting is that the tournament did not have the traditional mid-weekend cut, or Tiger would have missed it.  Then, we wouldn’t have been able to witness the absurdity he called golf on Saturday and Sunday.  And, did you notice that he even wore his conventional red shirt on Sunday?  He finished second from last place!  WTF?!

[“Not playing like this. Definitely not, playing like this. I wouldn’t help the team if I’m playing like this. No one would help the team by shooting 18 over par…”]

I wasn’t able to watch his round yesterday, but I did catch his round on Saturday.  Did you see him on #18?  After hitting a solid drive, he hit his approach shot 20 yards off-target to the right and landed underneath a tree.  He then fluffed the ball about 20 yards near the green.  Then, without any hesitation or moment for concentration, he hit it again with the same club.  Have I mentioned that I probably could have done better?

Of course, Tiger is not only on the verge of losing his #1 world ranking, but he could miss the Ryder Cup team this year as well.  Talk about a huge blow (no pun intended)!  During his post-round press conference on Sunday, Tiger was asked whether he deserved a spot on the team.  “Not playing like this.  Definitely not, playing like this,” he responded.  “I wouldn’t help the team if I’m playing like this.  No one would help the team by shooting 18 over par.”  Apparently, he thinks he can turn it around, though.  We’ll see.

Tiger, we’ve contacted Nike and they have allowed us to make you a “TGR Looker of the Week” golf polo to wear at the PGA Championship this weekend.  And yes, it will be a red one so that you may be able to wear on Sunday, regardless of your tumultuous score.  Stay up, T-Dubb.

As always, if you have a good candidate for “Looker of the Week,” please let us know.  And remember, refrain from making dim-witted remarks and/or engaging in ludicrous acts, or you may just be our next “Looker.”  Cheers!

Aug 2

Looker of the Week

Posted by: Nate Lowe at 3:15 pm | Leave a Comment (5)
Category: Looker of the Week

As many of you may know, the “Looker” post was conceived on the notion that we could provide humorous anecdotes about our friends or perfect strangers to all of you in hopes that you may enjoy them as we do.  To the best of my knowledge, however, I do not think we have yet succeeded in this endeavor.  In fact, the posts have consistently been written about celebrities or professional athletes who have done something pretty stupid.  Well, my friends, it seems the time to deliver such a story has come for your reading pleasure.

Please recall last week when we provided you a bittersweet story about Patrick, a member of the TGR crew, who chose not to attend a baseball game between the Detroit Tigers and Tampa Bay Rays last Monday night in fear of ascribing to the temptation to drink heavily and, thus, feeling like poop the following morning when he had to attend a business meeting across state.  Please also recall that he did not just miss any game, but the first no-hitter thrown in Rays’ history.  Even if you do not personally know Patrick, his story is priceless.  For those of us who have the pleasure of personally knowing Patrick, however, the story is even better, because we could imagine his every reaction as he described it in detail.

“Boy, what terrible luck,” was my immediate response when I first read Patrick’s story.  Here’s a guy who had planned all season to attend what was easily to be perceived as “just another game” on his birthday, and what prevailed was a no-hitter that he missed due to…what…poor judgment?  Idiocy?  Fate?

Well, I can vouch for Patrick’s good judgment and his above-average intelligence in general.  He is not one to dabble in such bonehead acts.  So, as a matter of process of elimination, it must have been just downright fate; terrible fate, I might add.

As Patrick mentioned, watching a no-hitter in a major league baseball game is on the bucket list for many people.  Just imagine how sweet it would have been to endure such an experience on your birthday.  I mean, that would have made a story to be told and passed on for generations.  Instead, we are left with a story that may be more fulfilling; maybe not for Patrick but definitely for us who are able to bask from his regrettable decision not to attend that game.

I guarantee he will not make a similar decision in the near future, particularly next season.  Unless a catastrophic event takes place, I seriously doubt Patrick will put his professional persona before his personal pleasure any longer.  Come July 26, 2011, if the Rays are playing at home, he will arrive two hours before the game at Tropicana Field.   I also expect him to tell fellow Rays fans about his memorable birthday the previous year, and I am sure they will bask in his misery as we have done over the past week and will continue for many years to come.

Well, Patrick, in addition to the Rays shirt that your lovely wife got you for your birthday, we have another t-shirt you can wear at a Rays game.  I want to be the first to congratulate you on being the first TGR crew member to receive a “TGR Looker of the Week” t-shirt.  We may also get you another t-shirt that reads: “I had tickets to Matt Garza’s no-hitter, but I stayed at home.  Oh yeah, it was also my birthday.  Lucky me.”  Wear them proudly, my friend.  Stay up.

As always, if you have a good candidate for “Looker of the Week,” please let us know.  And remember, refrain from making dim-witted remarks and/or engaging in ludicrous acts, or you may just be our next “Looker.”  Cheers!