For those of you who have been around TGR for more than a few weeks, you know there is nothing we enjoy more than a good story. I told you that I had a story or two from Birmingham and it is now time to share one with you.
My good friend Jason and I made the trip south to watch our cats play, as you could see on TV we were two of the few. We stayed in a fancy hotel downtown Birmingham and were forced to take a cab to Legion Field on the day of the game. The game was not a “must go” for a good part of BBN who live in Kentucky, but for those who live south of Bowling Green, it was a nice trip to make. An old friend of mine, we will call him, Bama, was in the group who made the trip due to living within a close proximity to Birmingham. Jason and I met up with Bama and a few of his friends before the game for some early morning beers and some Kentucky bourbon around “The Old Grey Woman”.
Luckily, Bama’s tickets were in the same end zone that Jason and mine were in, so, we were able to hang out during the game and to enjoy more alcoholic beverages together. Not only did I have the beers I was able to sneak past the crafty legion Field security team, the stadium sold beer for a reasonable price as well. For a fan of a team whose team is being beaten like a red headed step child on the field, beer sales are wonderful! Lord have mercy on us all if the SEC ever reverses it’s stance on beer sales at SEC games.
Bama and his friends parked in the terrific stadium parking area because they came to B’ham the day of the game and planned on leaving afterwards. I asked Bama if he thought he might be able to give us a lift out of the area after the game in order to go watch the cats on the hardwood and Bama obliged. We pounded beers until the buzzer sounded (which sounded like a kazoo), and then staggered out of our viewing area. The entire crew began walking down a ramp out of the game, but Jason and I veered off to the little boy’s room. When we came out, we expected to see Bama and his boys waiting on us, but no dice. We looked around a little bit and decided to head out of the stadium to where we knew they had parked. I was not familiar with Bama’s car, only that it was a Jeep Cherokee, and there was one parked where we thought he was parked. We waited and waited and the guys never showed up. Jason and I really wanted to see the tip-off to the Kentucky game, so, we decided to take off and fend for ourselves. I called Bama at least 15 times and he never answered, I knew there was going to be a classic story when I did get in touch with him.
On my cab ride from Birmingham to Hoover to watch the game with the UK Alumni (which was a mistake), Bama called me and I understood him to say something about riding in a golf cart after the game. I was drunk and he was drunk, so, there were very little details shared. Below are Bama’s adventures after we walked out of the game that he sent me on Monday morning. Enjoy…
-Again great to see you Saturday buddy…had a freakin blast and can’t wait to do it again! So here’s the scoop on what happened after the game! I remember walking down the ramp when leaving the game, then a heap of debauchery breaking out. The Woodford Reserve we drank pre-game was starting to mix with the Miller/Bud Light we drank during the game! Both great going down, not good coming back up. Anyway, the first thing I remember encountering is what appeared to be a private concert, but it was only being made private by some long white sheets (ironic huh!) that were hanging from the ceiling.
I busted in the back of the area where the band was playing and immediately found myself on stage. I drunkenly did the “Dougie” across the stage and got a laugh from the crowd. I got pulled down off the stage by some security guards, then grabbed a few pizza rolls off a server’s tray and started walking out of the private party! I stopped a few steps later and talked this old man into letting me borrow his cane, then jumped back in the party and did the Dougie a few more times, this time with a cane in hand.
Finally left the private party and about 20 feet after that is when I found the Gator/Golf Cart. It was red (I was looking on the side to see if it said “Roofs” on it) and seemed to have some horsepower behind it. There were two “guys” watching it…wish I could say they were security guards, but they were just guys! I asked if I could take it for a spin and of course they said “NO” to which I ignored and took off driving it. I got about 10 yards away before those 2 guys turned into 6 guys and forced me to get out of the cart. There was no reprimanding, only some comments like, “Come on man, what are you thinking?” I was thinking, “Thank God I didn’t hit any Kentucky fans and why couldn’t i have hit an Auburn fan and ruined his weekend!
Anyway, we leave the scene of that mischief and find what we thought was Erin Andrews then realized we were just drunk. She had to have been someone important though because she was a) Hot, b) Blonde, c) Had an ESPN Badge on and asked d) Do you know who I am? when we asked if we could take a picture with her. So we took a pic with her and thank God I had my sunglasses on because I barely remember it and was extremely drunk. I’m trying to remember where we were at this point, but can only remember that it was somewhere that in a normal stadium would have been a VIP area because everyone had those kind of badges.
After this, things get real hazey for me and I remember waking up in the back of my jeep telling whoever was driving the I needed to throw up. We stop on the interstate somewhere and I get out and throw up then get back in and tell them that we need to pick you and Jason up and take yall somewhere to watch the game. This is when they inform me that we left the stadium 2 hours ago and that’s when I called you. Sorry again that we left yall stranded…I’m glad yall eventually found a ride and made it where ever you went safely. We need to do it again sometime brother. –
I would do it again tomorrow Bama, but next time we have a video camera on you at all times. If you have a good story that occurs around a Kentucky sporting event or just a good story in general, let us know. With your permission, we will post for all to enjoy! C! A! T! S!