Good afternoon looks! I hope that all of your lunches entered your stomachs in a satisfactory manner and exit in the same fashion. Yes, I realize I am probably the only person who has wished you a good bowel movement today. That is just the kind of guy I am. Around 10 am Sunday, after a long night of vodka and cranberry concoctions, I was wishing someone had wished me “happy trails” in the ladies room. As much as I would love to continue on with this conversation, we must move on to the task at hand which is announcing our newest TGR Looker of the Week.
I must admit that this was a tough week for TGR to nail down a solid winner of our weekly award. We decided that it would be to easy to honor those involved in Kentucky’s “Larry Brown-gate”. After rereading that sentence, it sounds like I have returned to my original bathroom talk, but I haven’t. LHL’s Jerry Tipton, hater of all things fun or UK, got everyone fired up this weekend over possible violations committed by Kentucky by having Larry Brown in and around the program last week. DeWayne Peevy, Josh Harrellson, Sandy Bell, and a cast of characters were mentioned by Tipton and it is all ridiculous. The “ridiculousness” does not end with those around UK or Tipton; it stretches all the way to Indy and the NCAA’s actual rule which reads, “126.96.36.199.1.4 Use of outside Consultants. An institution may use or arrange for a temporary consultant to provide in-service training for the coaching staff, but no interaction with student athletes is permitted unless the individual is counted against the applicable coaching limits. An outside consultant may not be involved in any on- or off-field or on- or off-court coaching activities (e.g., attending practices and meetings involving coaching activities, formulating game plans, analyzing video involving the institution’s or opponent’s team) without counting the consultant in the coaching limitations in that sport. (Adopted: 1/10/92, Revised: 3/10/04) “The answer to this problem is that UK hires Larry Brown and he is no longer a “temporary consultant”.
My second choice was going to be to take a swing at the most useless sporting event in the world not involving ice and/ or Vuvuzelas, the NFL Pro Bowl. Surely I don’t have to explain to you or the NFL that any sporting event where Terry Bradshaw is in the booth is not a real sporting event. Terry is more suited for a World’s Strongest Man broadcast than anything legitimate.
If you take the time to read about UK athletics on the internet everyday, you probably know that Wednesday is National Signing Day. National Signing Day occurs each year on the first Wednesday of February and is the first day high school seniors can sign a binding National Letter of Intent to play college sports. Not only is it a huge day in the life of 18 year old children, it is an even bigger day, in some cases, for 40 something year olds who dedicate their lives to the pursuit of teenage boys. If you don’t know who I am talking about, good, “recruiting analyst” and “recruiting experts” are not worthy of your acknowledgment. I have no way of knowing what these people’s motives are; it is all very strange to me.
They spend the better part of their time calling and or following young, talent riddled boys in order to find out where these young men are going to spend the next 4 or fewer years of their lives. They go from high school to high school, tournament to tournament, and coast to coast in order to get the “scoop” on a young man’s future. Most of these men’s every waking moment are spent tracking the location and mood of 18 year old boys. I know that I am occasionally known as an outcast myself, but am I the only one who sees this is being creepy as hell?
With signing day creeping up on us, the FaceBook and Twitter worlds are lighting up with info from these folks about all of the big names still left on the boards across the country. Personally, I feel weird reading all of the odd information about these kids online, I can’t imagine how dirty I would feel if I was actually gathering the information.
It is my distinct honor, on this national Signing Day week, to announce this week’s TGR Looker of the Week as all of the creepy recruiting experts around the country! No one rocks a pair of Adidas nylon pants, a tucked in 1994 Little Caesar’s Invitational t-shirt, a 20 year old starter jacket, and a clipboard better than you. What one man considers being creepy, another man considers to be a passion. Here’s to all of the teenaged boys telling you where they will go to school before they tell the other guy hoping for the same thing!