
Do any of you despicable prostitutes even know what today is? There is no need to answer that question; I know the answer simply by seeing the blank look on all of your dirty faces. I understand that the number of Pixy Stick martini’s you drank last night would be considered ‘excessive’ by most states in the union, but that is no excuse. It is the day of the game around these parts and the cats are not the only ones ready to fire it up TGR! The boys in blue and white have sweet revenge on their mind’s and I have sweet bread amongst other foods on mine! Let’s start our game day festivities with the dumbest post we currently offer…
By any chance, would any of you be familiar with the name, Trey Thompkins? Good, I thought some of you might remember him after our last trip to Athens. Kentucky has a way of making very average players look like stars and Terrence Jones and his brothers by different mothers did just that to Georgia’s big man on January 8th. I have n ever considered Trey Thompkins to be anything extraordinary, his only great attribute is the amount of space he takes up. If we are going to base stardom on the amount of space we are able to cover while immobile, Fertig’s bowel movements would be on the cover of Sports illustrated.
One of my many New Year’s resolutions was to avoid judging people before I try to get to know them. I have a terrible habit of hating people based on their clothes or the type of hair product they use, and I am trying to avoid doing that. Instead of railing on Trey Thompkins for a few more paragraphs, I thought I would use this opportunity to get to know Trey better. With the help of his bio on georgiadogs.com, I am going to share some facts about Thompkins along with my insightful commentary. I hope this is therapeutic and beneficial to all of us, including Trey!
Full Name: Howard Samuel Thompkins III (I would probably call myself Trey too. Howard is not the most intimidating name for a 6’11” dude.)
Nickname: “Smooth,” “USA,” “HTeezy”
(I think these are what you would like to be called, but you can’t give yourself a nickname. I want to be called “White Hot Love” or “Captain Crunch”, but no one is going for it. Until someone on TV calls you one of these ridiculous names, I think you are lying.)
Birthdate/Birthplace: May 29, 1990 / Long Island, N.Y.
(Not only were you born on that date, Boris Yeltsin was elected president of the Russian SFSR. On the same day! You share a birthday with LaToya Jackson, Melissa Etheridge, and Carmelo Anthony who could all three post your big butt up.)
Academic Major: Housing
(Yeah right, like this is a real major. Would this make you a professional mover? Hey Trey, can you help me move this weekend since you have that degree and all?)
Favorite Food: My mom’s macaroni & cheese
(your mom’s macaroni & cheese? Why don’t you eat your own damn macaroni & cheese?)
Least Favorite Food: Tomatoes, Guacamole
(If I were your mom, I would put as many tomatoes and as much Guacamole in my macaroni & cheese as I could possibly put in there to keep your big ass away.)
Favorite Beverage: Sweet Tea
(You should be careful here. Drinking to much tea could cause a horrific urinary tract infection.)
Favorite TV Show: Smart Guy, Wayans, Cribs
(I can actually hear you getting dumber as you watch each of these shows. Why not read a book Trey? Maybe even one about ‘housing’?)
Favorite Video Games: NCAA 2K9, Street Fighter, Fight Night Round 4
(I can see that you are not only a food thief, but also a very violent youth. I could easily see your future being similar to that of Anthony Mason’s.)
Websites I Most Often Visit: Facebook, YouTube, ESPN, NBA, worldstarhiphop.com
(Are these pornographic websites Trey? I don’t believe this is going well for you. The more I find out, the less likely I am to be your friend.)
Number of Songs on my iPod: 2,290
(Unbelievable! That is exactly the number of Georgia basketball fan in the world!)
Most-Listened to Music: Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, Drake, Kanye West, Lady Gaga, Kerry Underwood
(Wow! Let’s play a game. Which two names don’t fit here?)
Teammates Who Make Me Laugh Hardest: Vincent Williams, Ebuka Anyaorah
(First of all, who are these people? Secondly, how dare you laugh at someone’s looks!)
My Biggest Fear: Heights
(Uh?!? You are 6’11”, are you scared to stand up?)
Most Famous Person I’ve Ever Met: Michael Jordan
(A cardboard cut-out doesn’t count Trey.)
Non-Athletic Accomplishment I’m Proudest Of: My GPA last year
(If a 1.2 makes you happy, it makes me happy too.)
Best Friends on Other College Teams: Al-Farouq Aminu (Wake Forest), Tyshawn Taylor (Kansas), Seth Curry (Duke), Ashton Gibbs (Pittsburgh)
(No one on Kentucky’s team likes you either.)
Favorite NBA Team: Boston Celtics
(I heard their GM thinks you are fat.))
Favorite Non-Basketball Team: New York Yankees
(I heard their GM loves mac and cheese.)
Favorite Non-Basketball Athlete: Tiger Woods
(You really know how to get the ladies Trey. I bet your mom is very proud of this one.)
C! A! T! S!