(Videos courtesy KyKernel.com)
- © Copyright 2013 Tailgate Review
(Videos courtesy KyKernel.com)
On Saturday, February 12, the Cats traveled to Nashville for some basketball action. Ironically, I posted the following nonsense about their opponents, the Vanderbilt Commodores, enjoy…
- Good mornin’ party people and welcome to your own personal hell! It is what you make of it, so let’s all try to settle down and deal with the next 45 seconds of your life as civilly as we can. There is a 78% chance I still have a slight buzz from last night, but that is none of your business. We have gathered here today to discuss Ricky martin, rice crispy treats, and their effect on society, I think. I hope to god you are not nearly as confused as I am. It is time for our annual trip to that crap-tastic gymnasium in Nashville, so, let’s get the ‘Nonsense’ flowing!
The Vanderbilt University Commodores! Whenever I hear that name, I can only think of two things…Nerds and how I don’t really know what a Commodore is. Based on Vandy’s lovely mascot, Mr. C, it is either some form of military ranking or a very odd sexual fetish. The reason that I believe it to be the latter is because I know at least 3 writers for TGR who have shared with me their unabashed love for Mr. C. According to Wikipedia, The term commodore was used
by the Navy during the mid- to late nineteenth century. A commodore was the commanding officer of a task force of ships, and therefore higher in rank than a captain but lower in rank than an admiral. It was the highest rank in the United States Navy until the Civil War. The closest parallel to this now-defunct rank is rear admiral lower-half. Basically what the most reliable source on the internet is telling us is that Commodores no longer exist. It is my opinion
that the military finally figured out how ridiculous it was for a man to dress like that and got rid of their fairy asses.
I can hear you loud and clear TGR…What does a defunct navy rank have to do with a school in Nashville, Tennessee? The school’s founder, Commodore Cornelius Vanderbilt is the connection. The odd thing is, Cornelius was as much a Commodore in the military as Perry Stevenson was. Mr. Vanderbilt made a ton of money and was given the nickname, “Commodore”, because his fortune was built in the shipping business. If you step back and ponder this, Vanderbilt was
Tennessee’s version of Colonel Sanders. A man who was given a nickname that would make you think he was in the military when nothing could be farther from the truth. At least the ‘Colonel’ ranking still exists within the armed services. I am almost positive master P was Colonel of the mother f**king tank.
Since it is the closest ranking to a ‘Commodore’, I would love to see the university update its nickname by changing it to Vanderbilt University Rear Admiral Lower-half’s. That or Vanderbilt university Ragin’ Nerds! C! A! T! S!-
(video courtesy KyKernel.com)
It is Monday again and that only means a few things… Today sucks, the weekend is not nearly as close as I would like it, and TGR’s Looker of the week is rockin’ and rollin’! Last week I took a different approach and gave you a little on a man I respect as much as my own father. He disagreed strongly with the Jimmy Dean sausage company’s decision to change the 16 ounce rolls of sausage to 12 ounce rolls and made it clear to Jimmy Dean. I have never felt as passionate about any change a company has ever made, so, I respect a man who can be that upset by such a change.
If this was the “old me”, I might decide to make the Looker of the Week a number of people this week. There would be no better candidate then the male Louisville cheerleader who ran on the playing floor yesterday, grabbed the ball, and threw it into the air before the game was over. Thankfully, or not, Louisville was up by 5 points and the technical foul awarded to Louisville because of his actions did not lose Louisville the game as I wished it had. It is debatable whether this action, or the fact he is a male cheerleader for Louisville best qualifies him for the Looker award.
I thought maybe if I was the “old me”, I would consider making the #1 ranking in college basketball the Looker, since no one can seem to hang on to it this year. Duke lost again, to Virginia Tech on Saturday night which means there will be a new #1 today. Watch out Buckeyes, you are next.
Like last week, this week’s recipient of the TGR Looker of the Week award is someone we can all look up to. He has a passion he is able to display for the entire world to see and hear. I became aware of this man a few weeks ago due to a Howard Stern Tweet and I have quickly become his biggest fan. For any of you who are animal lovers (nothing perverted), you will also surely become a big fan of this week’s winner. I was alerted to his description of the honey badger at first, but all of his videos are very educational and entertaining. His name is Randall and he is the narrator of Randall’s Wild Wild World of Animals. According to Randall’s YouTube page, “There is no other animal in the kingdom of all animals, as fearless as the crazyass Honey Badger. Nasty as hell, it eats practically whatever it wants. Randall is disgusted.” Here is his video on the very dangerous honey badger…
HONEY BADGER DON’T CARE! How much fun would it be to have Randall as the color man on a Kentucky basketball broadcast? You can see all of Randall’s videos here. Congratulations to Randall, our TGR Looker of the Week!
Two Three things that remain constant in the John Calipari era at UK… The Cats remain in the top 25 at 23 in the coaches poll and a Cat is freshman of the week in the SEC.
Per SECsports.com…“Kentucky’s Brandon Knight was named SEC Freshman of the Week after averaging 21.0 points, 5.5 assists and 4.0 rebounds in games against Arkansas and Florida. Knight recorded his UK freshman record 12th 20-point game with a career-high 26 points at Arkansas while also pulling down a career-best eight rebounds. He averaged 5.5 assists on the week and is averaging 6.8 over the last four games. His three 3-pointers on the week put him one-shy of the UK freshman record for 3-pointers in a season with 67.”
Update: Terrence Jones was announced as one of 10 finalists for the Oscar Robertson award, given to the USBWA’s POY.
SEC Champions: Alabama (11-3) and Florida (11-3)
SEC Eastern Division Champions: Florida (11-3)
SEC Western Division Champions: Alabama (11-3)
TOURNAMENT SEEDS (as of 2/27)
Eastern Division Games Remaining
1. Florida (11-3) UA, @VU (2)
2. Vanderbilt (9-5) @UK, UF (2)
3. Kentucky (8-6)% VU, @UT (2)
4. Georgia (8-6)% LS, @UA (2)
5. Tennessee (7-7) @SC, UK (2)
6. South Carolina (5-9) UT, @MS (2)
%—UK is 5-3 vs. the SEC East while UG is 4-6
Western Division Games Remaining
1. Alabama (11-3) @UF, UG (2)
2. Mississippi State (7-7)^ @AR, SC (2)
3. Arkansas (7-7)^ MS, @UM (2)
4. Ole Miss (6-8) @AU, AR (2)
5. LSU (3-11) @UG, AU (2)
6. Auburn (2-12) UM, @LS (2)
^—MS won the only meeting between the teams this year.
First Round Matchups (if season ended 2/27)
[W5] LSU vs. [E4] Georgia 1:00 p.m. ET
[E6] South Carolina vs. [W3] Arkansas 3:30 p.m. ET
[E5] Tennessee vs. [W4] Ole Miss 7:30 p.m. ET
[W6] Auburn vs. [E3] Kentucky 10:00 p.m. ET
Byes: [E1] Florida, [E2] Vanderbilt, [W1] Alabama, [W2] Mississippi State
Possible Seedings for the Tournament (Based on tie-breaker scenarios)
East #1: Florida
East #2: Kentucky/Georgia/Vanderbilt
East #3: Kentucky/Georgia/Tennessee/Vanderbilt
East #4: Kentucky/Georgia/Tennessee/Vanderbilt
East #5: Kentucky/Georgia/Tennessee/Vanderbilt
East #6: South Carolina
West #1: Alabama
West #2: Arkansas/Ole Miss/Mississippi State
West #3: Arkansas/Ole Miss/Mississippi State
West #4: Arkansas/Ole Miss/Mississippi State
West #5: Auburn/LSU
West #6: Auburn/LSU
There is a lot of discombobulation in college basketball this year. Some call it parity. I call it crap. Regardless, for the first time this season and the first time under Coach Cal the Cats are flirting with falling out of the polls. This is largely in part to losing to Arkansas at Arkansas, a considered to be very bad loss. However, the Cats rebounded at home, beating a ranked opponent in Florida.
Let’s take a look at the numbers shall we?Currently #22 Ken Pomeroy #9
Louisville just keeps on helping our cause. Thank you Cardinals.
There’s no better way to start off the week than seeing a most awesome mullet on Monday morning. I pride myself in being somewhat of an amateur paparazzi, well at least when it comes to mullets and other hideous sites. If you would like to send me your own pictures of an awesome mullet or anything else I might enjoy, please e-mail at MondayMorningMullet@gmail.com.
This weeks edition brings a whole new meaning to the word classy. “Tommy Mulletfiger” was dressed to the 9′s in this retro Tommy polo from the early 1990′s, and he was ready for a party. He even went as far as to break out, the always sexy, Magnum P.I. mustache (google “Tom Selleck Magnum” if there’s any confusion). I have to say though, the sexiest addition to his wavy locks, striking mustache and expensive shirt is the cigarette burn hole right below the third green stripe.
Somewhere between his seventh and tenth beer, and near the end of the pack of Kool’s he finished in an hour, he let his cherry drop making this outfit ten times better than it already was. Thanks Mr. Mulletfiger, you make me happy it’s Monday.
Don’t look now, but Kentucky won another home game yesterday! The Cats did what they have done over 30 times in a row under Coach Cal, win in the friendly confines! They manage to keep themselves alive for the bye in the SEC tournament and send Billy D. back south with a loss, which is always pleasing. Some thoughts…
- Did the team who won yesterday in Rupp look any different to you than the team who lost in Arkansas? The only differences to me were that Miller hit shots he missed on Wednesday and Lamb played defense well enough to stay on the floor long enough to hit a few shots. I saw the same effort, concentration, and poise that I have seen in nearly every game this year. The only difference? A few shots fell that have not fallen in the losses.
- Dear Darius Miller, You played splendidly yesterday and you have played well for several games in a row now. This makes me very happy, but I still don’t trust you. You are playing like the player I knew you could be, but I am still going to be all over you. I am scared to death that if I leave you alone, you will revert back to the “possum”. You were the key to a championship last year and you are the key to making this final leg of this season memorable.
- Cameron Mills said on the pregame show yesterday that the Kentucky teams he played on were very tired at this point in the season and they had a 10 or 12 man rotation. I found this interesting for a few reasons. First, for those who continue to say this team is not suffering from fatigue, you are obviously insane. Secondly, at this point in the season, ALL teams are fatigued, no matter how many players they have in their rotation. Lastly, if Cameron Mills was tired in his first few years at this point in the season, Jon Hood must be exhausted.
- In other pregame radio news, Matt Jones hosted the pregame call-in show and mentioned he was at practice all week for an all-access piece he is doing on UK for CBS Sports. He spoke of Stacey Poole and his lack of playing time a little with Oscar Combs. He told of a story where Poole was not paying attention in practice and Calipari pointed out to Stacey that “this is why you aren’t playing”. Oscar made a comment that inferred that one of the “bench riders” isn’t playing because they are not that intelligent. I have no idea if this was in reference to Poole or not, but this kind of explains his lack of court time.
- How cool would it be if Kentucky busted out the denim uniforms for Jorts Day Tuesday night?
- C! A! T! S!