This post is normally designated real estate for some ‘nonsense’ directed at Kentucky’s opponent. Today, our Pregame Nonsense honors our lone Kentucky senior basketball player and his choice of clothing. Jorts are a garment worn by women or men that covers the pelvic area, the buttocks, and the legs, stopping between the top of the thigh and the knee. They are simply shorts made from denim. Some restrict “jorts” in particular to self-cropped pants made from denim (cut-off jeans), while others broaden them to include denim shorts cropped, hemmed, and sometimes even pleated at the knee. In either case, jean shorts are in wide use throughout the United States. With the wide use of cellphones, jean shorts now often have a side pocket just to hold a cellphone. Most jean shorts have two back pockets and two side pockets. Black denim, store-bought jean shorts are popular in hip-hop and rap videos. These particular ones usually extend below the knee, whether the waistband is worn at the waist or not. I doubt Wikipedia has ever given better and more educational information in its life.
Kentucky fans and the BBN blogosphere have referred to Josh Harrellson as “Jorts” since a picture of him on his recruiting visit to Lexington and UK showed up with him wearing a fantastic pair of jean shorts. Since that memorable moment so may years ago, Josh has been known as “Jorts” by all of his fans. Josh has embraced the name as many might expect who are familiar with his sense of humor. I, myself, am not as “easy going” when it comes to my clothing being made fun of. If some jerk ever called me “tighty whities” or “Keds” or “braided belt”, or even “Hypercolors”, I would be very upset.
If you are still unclear on what “Jorts” are, the wonderful people at Urban Dictionary have several definitions. “Jean shorts. Worn mostly by children and douchebags. Jorts are perhaps the easiest way to recognize people you will not like. If you wear jorts, you probably don’t talk to girls. The term “jorts” does not apply to jean shorts worn by black people, as those are entirely acceptable. “That may not be the most flattering definition, but when used in a sentence, it sounds a little more positive, “The kid next to me was definitely a total dick; he was wearing jorts. “ OK, maybe that was not as nice as I thought it was. Another definition is, “a combination of the words “jean” and “shorts” used to describe the hideous attire, usually sported by NASCAR aficionados and men over 40. Sometimes Jorts are accessorized with a lovely cellphone belt clip and a braided leather belt, but not always. Sometimes the Jorts wearer lets the Jorts speak for themselves.”
From very little research, I have learned not only is Kentucky’s only senior known for his Jorts within the SEC, apparently Florida fans are well-known for their sporting of Jorts. I found this definition too, “Slang for jean shorts. These are most often worn by the fashion illiterate and the fan base of the University of Florida. “The south and the Southeastern Conference should be so proud!
Tonight we honor our Jorts! Although sometimes uncomfortable and invasive, in the end, our Jorts improved over time! Our Jorts are not always pleasant to look at, but they get the job done. Without our Jorts, our year would not be nearly as successful or complete. In the three years we have had our Jorts on board, win or lose, our Jorts were bangin’ C! A! T! S