It is not hard to pick out a few “Lookers” the Monday after the Derby. Stories about men overdosing on Derby pie or girls who had their nipples bitten off by rabid squirrels normally flood the internet. I once witnessed a man being cheered on by 60 people while attempting to place a condom on his head in the Churchill infield on Derby day. Don’t ask me why Fertig would ever do that, but to each is own.
I was primed to search this morning for the dumbest, ugliest, or scariest character from the Derby infield on Saturday to make fun of, but then came yesterday. And with yesterday, we got Game 4 of the NBA Western Conference Semi-finals between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Dallas Mavericks, who led the series going into Game 4, 3-0. I will preface this by saying that I am a Laker fan, if a person who watches next to no NBA basketball can be a fan. I am a huge Shaquille O’Neal fan, and I have also become a proponent of Kobe Bryant’s. But, yesterday, in the Lakers embarrassing loss to the mavs, 122-86, and in Phil Jackson’s last game as coach of the Lake Show, the Lakers shamed the Laker organization. It is hard to even pin the Looker tag on just one of the culprits…
– Lamar Odom finished the game with 10 points and 2 rebounds. He was removed from the game by officials after he shoved Dirk Nowitzki to the ground like a big baby in the 4th quarter. If that is not bad enough, the Khloe & Lamar show is still on television and my wife can not get enough of it.
– The Laker’s 23 year old head case, Andrew Bynum, should be the most ashamed this morning. Shortly after Odom hit the showers, the big thug threw a crazy elbow into an airborne Jose Barea. The cheap-shot sent Jose to the ground and Andrew to the locker-room with Lamar. While exiting stage right, Bynum ripped off his Laker jersey. Stay classy Andrew!
– As he has for so many years, in his last game, Phil Jackson showed ZERO emotion as his team fell apart. He is the greatest coach of any sport in my lifetime, but he remains as excitable as road kill.
– Probably the biggest reason the Lakers were so pitiful throughout the series was the play of Pau Gasol. Pau had 10 points in the loss yesterday and looked painfully weak on the block. But, the most interesting thing about his play, might be the reasoning for his lack-luster performance. Pau said this after the game, “I have to learn that when something happens off the court, you have to keep it off the court.” The word is that Pau was referring to the rumor that Kobe Bryant’s wife, Vanessa, was the cause of Pau’s break-up with his own girlfriend. Due to this, it has been reported that Pau and Kobe did not speak throughout their short playoff run. Before you say that this is nonsense, you might remember when Karl Malone once stated that Vanessa Bryant had interfered with a personal relationship he had.
I am finding it very difficult to separate all of these idiots, so I will do the only fair thing. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you this week’s TGR Looker of the Week! The entire city of Los Angeles and surrounding counties! Enjoy your off-season…