There is something very spiritual about a “first”. Whether it is the first game, the first child, a first kiss, a first beer, a first blog post after a 1,025 day hiatus from the game, or even your first run-in with the infamous, Kentucky Joe, of KSR radio fame, a “first” can be nearly orgasmic.
I remember the first Tailgate Review e-mail (the e-mail chain that started this blog years ago) like it was yesterday! I remember how I told stories and gave meaningless information about that day’s tailgate party in the red lot in our spot that we have been in for 10 years. I remember telling everyone about how that guy got so drunk and that girl was so annoying and how those opposing fans were so mad at us for calling them terrible names and I remember… Well, I don’t really remember any of that, or the first e-mail that started Tailgate Review, but I assure you, it was a lot like that.
So, let me clear my throat, and get back to what we do best…
My world has changed in a number of ways since my last Tailgate Review many years ago. Teenagers have gone from drinking purple drank, to getting all hopped up on some chick named Molly and doing shots of liquor in the eye balls. I am not here to judge, but Molly seems like a slut. This is the only change in my life I find to be note worthy.
Let me start by quoting my good friend and philosopher, Jay, “Noon games are the devil!” Less time to tailgate, hangovers, and extremely grumpy wives at 6 am are reasons to support that statement. I’m all for arriving at Commonwealth at 8:15 am, but for a 7 pm game, not a nooner!
Like I said, 10 years in the exact same spot in the red lot. But, it was predetermined this season that we were going to attempt to relocate in the red lot. I know I know, it would be a very sad day in Big Blue Nation if that were to happen, but my 2 year old has nearly been hit by a car twice in 2 years, so we are striving for safety this season. After 3 minutes of scouting the red lot for a more kid safe area, I.E. away from the road, we ended up in the exact same spot by the exact same tree we have abused for several seasons. Lil R.A. didn’t make the trip anyway, he had a meeting with a client. Might just have to look into a helmet for him for future tailgates.
A silly noon game also makes for slim pickins on the nourishment front. Sure, people try to do big things like breakfast casseroles and other things, but I will be honest… I have never met a breakfast casserole that didn’t remind me of what a college kid’s 2 am breakfast from Waffle House looks like on his bathroom floor the next morning. In other words… Not a fan. For me and my early birds on Saturday morning, it was chicken minis from Chick Filet! If you aren’t familiar with this genius of fast food breakfast cuisine, get familiar!
It was a strong showing by BBN in the lots early on. I was impressed with the RV presence as well as some of my people in the red and blue. There was definitely a buzz within the Commonwealth shadow and it felt really nice. Ryan Lemond and Jared Lorenzon were floating around the lots on their KSR-mobile, if in fact “floating” is possible with that much pay load.
But, let’s get down to the highlight of the pregame festivities… The moment Kentucky Joe made his first TGR red lot appearance. If you are a fan of the Kentucky Sports Radio radio show, you are well aware of the legend that is Kentucky Joe. At this point his fame has become more because of Matt’s annoyance with his calls, and less for his many songs he has contributed to UK lore. as we sat dreaming of Tds and Booms, TGR legend, Jay, looked up in time to spot Kentucky Joe striding toward our area. I asked how he knew it was him, and he quickly said because he is wearing a KSR t-shirt and you can just tell. Joe walks right up to us and says, “I hate to do this, but you know I have to… Do you all know who I am?” Jay, without hesitation says, “Yeah, you are John short!” and the fun began! From there, I couldn’t have been more excited about meeting “John Short” and Kentucky Joe seemed very irritated with me. To try to explain who he was he sang the hook featured on his hit song, I’m a Willie Cauley-Stein Man, which was cool, because I too am a WCS man, and, my son thinks his name is Willie Cauley-Stein.
The “John Short” joke ended there and we continued on knowing who Kentucky Joe was. He sang us his rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ that he sang to MJ last week and made it clear that he was doing a “King” impression during that segment. I then asked Joe if he was having any luck with the ladies, but I was a bit more crude than that with my verbiage and things got really weird, if things could get any more weird. Joe suddenly started speaking with an Irish accent. No idea why or what triggered the change, but it was both fantastic and troubling. Joe then uttered a line that will live for many years in our red lot spot for its randomness and brilliance… Joe said about himself, ” I am a full blooded cocker spaniel. ” We have no idea why he said that, but we don’t care, it was awesome, and t-shirts could be in the process of getting made.
Our interaction with the legendary Kentucky Joe ended with him asking us if we would like to take a picture with him (pictured above). I have never met anyone in my life who believes they are a bigger star than Kentucky Joe believes he is. I will sum up our moment with him in one word… Sadlyfunnyoddlypitiful.
We were all Big Blue fans in the morning on Saturday and it was a great return to the red lot, Commonwealth and the W column for Big Blue nation! Today, we are ALL, full blooded cocker spaniels! C! A! T! S!