If you are like me, there are very few people on the face of the earth that can actually have a major effect on your day to day life. There are only a few people that assist me in preparing for my day, help decide what I do in a day, or produce any other determining factor in how my day goes. For me, the number of people can be counted on one hand, if in fact you have all of your fingers, and one of them, unfortunately, is a gosh dern meteorologist. You don’t have to be a best friend of mine to know that I have had an on-going feud with nearly all of the meteorologist I have ever heard utter the words upper level low, dusting, straight line winds or polar vortex. I once heckled a weather man as he attempted to kick a field goal at halftime of a UK game. He is no longer a weather man in Lexington, and I am a better man for it.
Saturdays tailgate extravaganza was damned by local weather freaks to be a sloppy mess all week leading up to game day. I heard torrential rainfall, seasonally low temperatures and extensive cloud cover more than a few times every night. Which leads me to my first bad decision of the day, I wore jeans Saturday… For, you know, the unseasonably low temperatures? If 90 is “low”, what is high? Besides the meteorologist apparently?
Thankfully, since I was wearing jeans in what felt like Amazon Jungle type conditions, we started the day at Winchell’s for breakfast. Again, this happened because it was going to be raining and we thought a nice dry environment would be the most responsible decision. This, by mistake, was the only good decision the meteorologist made for me Saturday, because Winchell’s breakfast is great. With all of the TVs, bloody Mary’s, and the sausage, egg an cheese bagel I had, they have a great pregame atmosphere. They have Blue and White pancakes if you find the need to not only wear our colors, but eat them too, just as my wife did. Love ya honey, mean it!
67 seconds after leaving Winchell’s, we were smack dab in the red lot! My mother passed up breakfast to go ahead and set up shop with some help from her friends, because, you know, there was a storm a brewing’! #fail. Let me tell you, there is nothing more satisfying than arriving at your tailgate theater only to have it already assembled and ready for business! The only thing we had to get put into place was our second tent, because, it was going to pour rain and we should have as much shelter as possible #fail. After only a few minutes I was gracefully rolling across the red lot to the UK souvenir tent to see if they had any shorts for purchase. They did not, but I did consider either borrowing the scissors in order to make myself a pair of jorts, or buying a t-shirt and putting my legs through the arm holes. I am telling you folks it was H O T and my mind was playing tricks on me.
I managed to make it in Commonwealth without having a heat stroke, but with a poncho, a cute little battery powered fan that blows cool mist on you and a frog tog, which I will let you Google. The damn nations I was hurling towards all that is wrong about 21st century weather predicting were interrupted only by the beautiful glimmer from those sick new helmets the Big Grey, I mean Big Blue were wearing! I loved the entire uniform… More of that please! I also forgot to mention how much I love the Cats entering the field of play behind a player caring a Kentucky flag last week. This week I heard Matt Elam carried in an American flag, and that is fine, I would just rather it be a Kentucky state flag. There are a few states represented by stars on Ol Glory that I could do without… Here’s looking at you Tennessee, Indiana, Ohio and Utah.
Story, or question of the day… My good pal, we will call him, “Ryan”, sat with me Saturday. I will first point out that I LOVE watching football with “Ryan”, He is a good Kentucky football fan and agrees with me on most things when it comes to Big Blue football. The 3rd quarter starts and I tell “Ryan” that I have a headache. He tells me I am probably dehydrated and he agrees to go grab me a beverage after no one around us has any Tylenol. “Ryan” leaves and returns to our seats to inform me FIRST, the lines were long at the concession stand, but he got me something better than what they would have there and “Ryan” hands me a snow cone. I don’t think I have been more disappointed in my life. I was so ready for a delicious fountain drink, or bottle of water or anything else a 34 year old man might get. I was even more disappointed when “Ryan” was mad at me for being completely baffled by his purchase. I felt he had handed me a shredded up ice cube and he felt he had handed me the most beautiful refreshment god’s great hands could produce in our situation. I am still hearing from “Ryan” how big a jerk I am for not being happy with the snow cone and I continue to let “Ryan” know that 34 year old men don’t by each other snow cones when one of them is possibly dehydrated, just because there is a line at the concession stand. So, who is right here BBN? Me or “Ryan”?
It was another great tailgate, despite the best effort of the bluegrass region’s finest weather trackers. We managed to go the entire morning/afternoon without seeing Kentucky Joe, we broke bread with a bunch of fine Americans we only see in football season and the Cats were victorious! We ended the night in a barn on Van Meter Road in Winchester listening to a symphony! STRIDE’s Symphony Under The Stars was a great event and raised a lot of money for a great cause I am very proud to be a part of! You might be asking why we were in a barn? That’s right BBN…. Due to the severe weather threat, the event was moved indoors, or at least inside the barn. #fail
Thanks to meteorologist, I never stopped sweating from 8 am to 10 pm and “Ryan” bought me a snow cone… Thanks guys! C! A! T! S!