For the past 5 years, my wife and I have had a Buick Rendezvous. She bought it new before we got married, and may have been swayed into the buy because I thought it would be cool to have a car that Tiger Woods endorsed. This made the incident on Thanksgiving last year even worse for me, why was he not driving badly in a Rendezvous? Who cares about the mistresses, does he not support the company’s he is paid by? I better change the subject before I rip off this red Nike Dry Fit like I am Hulk Hogan preparing for Andre at Wrestlemania.
Last week, after a series of “nickel and Diming” repairs that we incurred over the past couple of months, we decided to run the Rendezvous off the Boonesborough bridge over the Kentucky River and get money from our insurance company for a new car, not really, but if I had my druthers, it is what would have happened. We actually just started the process of finding a new car. After several test drives, several talks with completely creepy car salesman, and several arguments between husband and wife, we made our decision. Before I go on, if you are a car salesman, god love ya, but is it some sort of law that I am not aware of that instructs all salesman to be evasive and weird? Can you prohibited to answer my questions directly? I also don’t need you to call me 28 times after I leave the lot, to ask me what I am doing or if I had thought about coming back to the lot. If I want to come back to your lot, I will come back to your lot. Bugging the heck out of me is not the way to sell me anything homie.
So, we found a car we love, it may or may not be a Toyota, and have nearly locked down the purchase. We were told that it would be delivered to the store yesterday, because the exact color and whatever else we wanted on it was not available on their lot. I was off work yesterday and after I spoke with the salesman that sold us the car yesterday morning, he made it sound like the car would be there late in the afternoon sometime and we could pick it up. Is there anything more exciting than getting a new car? Is there anything more American than getting a new car? I had the whole thing planned out; go to lunch at Harry’s, go to Best Buy and get the new Eminem album to bang out of my new speakers, then sit in my drive way and play with the car until midnight. If only it was that easy…
My wife invited one of our friends to go with us, and after the salesman told me the car would be ready late afternoon we headed towards Lexington. First stop, Harry’s patio, for some mini burgers. About 15 minutes after we sat down to eat, a crack of thunder loud enough to break glass echoed through Hamburg and nearly caused me to perform the Heimlich maneuver on our friend Katy after she took a drink of water or something. Seconds later there is hurricane force winds and torrential rain, not ideal patio weather. We are now moving quickly into the building with plates and drinks in hand to avoid drowning. The rain did not let up for a while, and after our meal, we were severely drenched on the way to the car. The guys at the car dealership had not called to let us know the car was there and ready, so, it gave me time to head over and grab the “Recovery” CD, Eminem’s newest brilliant musical offering. “Relapse”, Marshall’s last record was the only record he has ever released that I felt was disappointing, but I felt confident he would not let me down again, and I was right. If you don’t have it, go get it immediately. After I got the damn CD case open, damn that wrapper, I popped it in only to have Katy tell me she hates Eminem after about 4 minutes. This prevented me from letting it bang the way it deserves to bang. Then we head over to the Toyota dealership, only to be told by the salesman that due to the storms that the car was going to be a bit delayed in arriving and it was going to be another hour and a half. After a trip to Cold Stone for ice cream for the girls, a trip to the mall to look for some shoes for Katy, and another trip back to the dealer I found out the car was going to be another hour or so from being delivered. I just went shoe shopping with 2 girls for an hour, and I am not going to get a car out of the deal? You have no idea how badly I wanted to tell the creep salesman that. Bottom line, come back after work tomorrow, it SHOULD be ready then. Not exactly the day off I was looking forward to when I woke up. holla!