After turning on Sportcenter yesterday morning, I was sure that Ohio State’s Jim Tressel was going to be honored as TGR’s Looker of the Week this week. I actually considered several young men and women that I came in contact with this weekend around the Winchester Memorial Men’s Match Play Championship golf tournament. There are always suitable candidates in and around Winchester on Memorial Day weekend. This year was not the exception. But, the debacle that is Ohio State Buckeye Football could not be denied!

It would be easy to make the recently dismissed, I mean, retired, Jim Tressel, our Looker. It is easy for us to say that it is near impossible for one man to watch over 100 football players to make sure they are not doing wrong, but then again, that is what Jim Tressel is paid to do. If one or two underclassmen who have used their redshirt and medical redshirt before they have ever stepped on the field for OSU were dealing gear for tats over and over again, I could understand how Jim might not know or care, but we are not talking about scrubs in this case.

OSU Athletic Director Gene Smith and OSU President Gordon Gee are also fine candidates for our weekly honor. I love when the executive branch gets all “high and mighty” in a crisis situation such as this one. Gee said this in his statement yesterday, “In consultation with the senior leadership of the Board of Trustees, I have been actively reviewing matters attendant to our football program, and I have accepted Coach Tressel’s resignation.” It took meeting with the Board of Trustees for you to figure out that things were not on the up and up with your football program Gee? Also, am I misspelling your last name or is it really missing that many letters?

As well as these three fit our definition of a “Looker”, no one this weekend fits it better than Ohio State star quarterback, Terrelle Pryor. Not only was it Terrelle Pryor that Tressel seemed to always be defending and protecting from OSU and the NCAA, it was Terrelle Pryor who showed up to the team meeting Monday morning in a 2007 Nissan 350Z with temporary tags with a May 24th date on them. If you are not familiar, one of the scandals around the program currently involves the use of cars by OSU athletes provided to them by a local used car salesman.

Since Terrelle Pryor either does not give a good damn about anyone or anything, or the poor kid is dumber than a moon rock, we have decided to make Mr. Terrelle Pryor our honorable TGR Looker of The Week! He is all tatted up, driving a sweet car, and forcing his own coaches to retire! Terrelle Pryor is a stone cold pimp and our looker! Congrats!

Personally I love a store where you can buy motor oil, underwear, propane tanks, fishing lures, c antelope, cupcakes, tire foam, potted meat, potted plants, wiper blades, fish food, end tables, rain boots, lawn mowers,  wrapping  paper, spiderman sleeping bags, rolaids, hair netting, door mats, diapers, contraceptives, birthday balloons, pet food, eggs, tic-tacs, prescription glasses, Red Lobster gift cards, chia-pets, Magic Markers, dish towels, Power Wheels, prom gowns, hat racks, camping tents, baby bedding, Miracle Grow, fountain drinks, Mothers Day cards, get your tires rotated, and pick up all your groceries in one simple stop. That store is Walmart and everyone of you have been there before, don’t act like you haven’t been. You’ve been, and it’s highly likely you ran into one of these characters, let’s just hope your not related:

With TailgateReview.com only being a year or so old, we have missed out on the chance to make several of the Kentucky villains over the years our Looker of the Week. Petrino, Laettner, Walsh, Rasheed, and several others did something to make UK hate them, and then went out and did something dumb enough to earn our award, but it didn’t exist at the time.

Rarely do we get a shot to have our way with a past villain now, in the TGR age. Most people learn from their mistake of crossing that line into a world where everyone hates them, well, at least BBN. The only person I can remember being able to honor with TGr’s Looker of the Week long after his initial “crossing” of BBN is Coach Rick Pitino. But, he is a little different since he continues to attempt to bring down the nation and upset its citizens.

Today, we honor a man who enraged Big Blue nation many times, many years ago. The mere mentioning of his name will get a very passionate reaction from even the slightest UK fan. He is receiving the honor of this week’s Looker not because of anything he did to UK, but because I could not pass up the opportunity to allow something he did last night to embarrass him and his family for all of those years of torment he forced upon us. Here is a video from last night’s Heat-Bulls game 3…

Yes dear, that is former Florida Gator, and current Chicago Bull, Joakim Noah, yelling “F**k you, f**got!” at a Miami Heat fan after picking up his 2nd foul and being forced to the bench. Around where I grew up, this would be considered as the “Pot calling the kettle black”, but I am just saying’. Kobe Bryant was fined earlier this year for a similar comment to a fan, and I hope Joakim’s fine is even larger and attached to a suspension. Of course he backpedaled after the game and gave this statement, “I apologize. The fan said something to me that I thought was disrespectful, and I got caught up in the moment, and I said some things that I shouldn’t have said. I was frustrated and I don’t mean no disrespect to anybody. I just got caught up.”

No matter the excuse, we are proud to honor Miss Joakim Noah with this week’s TGR Looker of the Week award for his comments last night on South Beach! I am sure I express the sentiments of all Kentuckians when I say, “F**k you too beotch!”
C! A! T! S!

There is no better feeling than returning from sunny Sandestin, Florida to a cold damp bluegrass. Things are even better when you have contracted some sort of funk while you were on vacation. No, I did not come in contact with any University of Florida cheerleaders, but if I would have, I am sure he would have been tested for all things sexually transmitted. Due to high volumes of alcohol, golf, and acting like idiots, I have been out of the UK, Trevor Lacey, Dominican basketball, or anything not pertaining to alcohol, golf, or acting like idiots loop.

In keeping with the tradition of making this post less than relevant, I am going to honor a group of people that a majority of you don’t know. None of them are super famous, none of them play a sport for a college team anymore, and none of them are worthy of me writing about unless they do something dumb. This week I am honoring a group of boys that I spent the last 120+ hours of my life with in a Ford 15 passenger van, on The Robert Trent Jones Golf Trail at Capitol Hill in Prattville, Alabama, in two condos in Sandestin , and in several establishments and restaurants throughout the voyage on a bachelor party weekend for my boy Mig.

We demonstrated the best of ourselves when we CONTEMPLATED stopping in Birmingham to do some volunteer work for tornado victims and we demonstrated the worst of ourselves for the remainder of the trip. We hollered and screamed, we drank and ate, and we laughed and cried. We did things we are not proud of and we did more things we are not proud of after we did other things we are not proud of.

It is a pleasure for me to name Mig, Marc, Kyle, Hud, Sully, Bordas, Paxton, Nate, JD, Patrick, Ryan, Tim, Rose, and yours truly, our TGR Lookers Of The Week! I hear the train a comin’, It’s rolling round the bend, And I ain’t seen the sunshine since I don’t know when, I’m stuck in Folsom prison, and time keeps draggin’ on… C! A! T! S!

It is not hard to pick out a few “Lookers” the Monday after the Derby. Stories about men overdosing on Derby pie or girls who had their nipples bitten off by rabid squirrels normally flood the internet. I once witnessed a man being cheered on by 60 people while attempting to place a condom on his head in the Churchill infield on Derby day. Don’t ask me why Fertig would ever do that, but to each is own.

I was primed to search this morning for the dumbest, ugliest, or scariest character from the Derby infield on Saturday to make fun of, but then came yesterday. And with yesterday, we got Game 4 of the NBA Western Conference Semi-finals between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Dallas Mavericks, who led the series going into Game 4, 3-0. I will preface this by saying that I am a Laker fan, if a person who watches next to no NBA basketball can be a fan. I am a huge Shaquille O’Neal fan, and I have also become a proponent of Kobe Bryant’s. But, yesterday, in the Lakers embarrassing loss to the mavs, 122-86, and in Phil Jackson’s last game as coach of the Lake Show, the Lakers shamed the Laker organization. It is hard to even pin the Looker tag on just one of the culprits…

- Lamar Odom finished the game with 10 points and 2 rebounds. He was removed from the game by officials after he shoved Dirk Nowitzki to the ground like a big baby in the 4th quarter. If that is not bad enough, the Khloe & Lamar show is still on television and my wife can not get enough of it.

- The Laker’s 23 year old head case, Andrew Bynum, should be the most ashamed this morning. Shortly after Odom hit the showers, the big thug threw a crazy elbow into an airborne Jose Barea. The cheap-shot sent Jose to the ground and Andrew to the locker-room with Lamar. While exiting stage right, Bynum ripped off his Laker jersey. Stay classy Andrew!

- As he has for so many years, in his last game, Phil Jackson showed ZERO emotion as his team fell apart. He is the greatest coach of any sport in my lifetime, but he remains as excitable as road kill.

- Probably the biggest reason the Lakers were so pitiful throughout the series was the play of Pau Gasol. Pau had 10 points in the loss yesterday and looked painfully weak on the block. But, the most interesting thing about his play, might be the reasoning for his lack-luster performance. Pau said this after the game, “I have to learn that when something happens off the court, you have to keep it off the court.” The word is that Pau was referring to the rumor that Kobe Bryant’s wife, Vanessa, was the cause of Pau’s break-up with his own girlfriend. Due to this, it has been reported that Pau and Kobe did not speak throughout their short playoff run. Before you say that this is nonsense, you might remember when Karl Malone once stated that Vanessa Bryant had interfered with a personal relationship he had.

I am finding it very difficult to separate all of these idiots, so I will do the only fair thing. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you this week’s TGR Looker of the Week! The entire city of Los Angeles and surrounding counties! Enjoy your off-season…

In recent months, we have honored such people as the 10-member NCAA Men’s Division I Basketball Committee, Karen Sypher & Rick Pitino, Bruce Pearl, a man who was upset with the way his breakfast sausage was packaged, critics of Christina Aguilera, and Satan himself, Bobby knight, with the title of TGR’s Looker of the Week. Some might speculate that we are not actually honoring these people and instead, are making fun of them. I would like to answer to those allegations with a “How dare you!” To each is own TGR readers and if you don’t feel these folks deserve some recognition, suck it.

I never thought that we would ever celebrate anyone’s death on this site other than Bobby night’s, but I was wrong. That beautiful day will come, but today we celebrate the most disgusting and vile piece of pollution ever introduced into our ocean’s waters, Osama bin Laden! The rat which sent so many suicide bombers into buildings and other structures, but never did so himself, instead, sitting on his couch making YouTube videos, is officially fish food! The coward who encouraged Muslim Martyrs to take their own life in order to take the lives of innocent people will never poison the world again.

The founder and leader of al Qaeda, as we speak, is at the bottom of a deep, dark, cold ocean, and honestly, that seems like a much nicer place than he deserves. The only problem I can see with Bin Laden’s ocean floor paradise is that it is going to be tough to get an address for him in order to send him his “TGR’s Looker of the Week” t-shirt. If there are any Jihadist out there that are looking for something to do, I will supply the floaties and snorkel if you want to go looking for your man. Just as long as you deliver to him his shirt.

Enjoy your bath Binny! I only wish you could feel the fishes eating your flesh from your soggy old body my friend. How I would love to have a photograph of your face when that Seal put that bullet in your evil brain. Until we meet again old friend, you are TGR’s Looker of the Week! Rot in Pieces Bitch! U! S! A!

Normally Rob comes through on the “Looker of the Week” post but he was too busy this A.M. in front of the mirror working on his radio voice…..

It’s been a wild and crazy 3-4 weeks for us Kentucky fans, from the roller coaster ride of a basketball season, to the Final Four, to the guys entering the draft, to the spring game, to Coach Cal pressing on the brand like none other, to Jorts doing promo tours in Whitesburg, we’ve about seen it all in a short amount of time.

Honestly, we’ve been looking all week for a “looker” to emerge and have been reluctant to dish it out because it’s such a prestigious award. We thought about Ryan Lemond for his Rascall Flatts deal, seeing them in concert a fan record of 7 times, but decided that would be too harsh on a guy we only know through acquaintances. We also thought about giving it to the damn weather we’ve been having but feared some might mistake it for being negative to the misfortunes of many southerners.

Then Thursday night came and went and…………………. ding, ding, ding, ding! We have our looker!

The NFL Draft.

Seriously, most of us are football guys, we do the fantasy thing to a degree, but when it comes to the NFL something with me just begs to be desired. I guess that’s the Bengals fan in me just sounding off but last night’s NFL draft can be summed up in one word……….HORRIBLE.

Most of you probably wasted 3.5 hours of your life sitting in front of ESPN waiting to see who would go next. I can regretfully say I only could muster up about 1.25 hours of it before I had to turn it off. Teams passing on picks (Ravens), Cam Newton getting the number 1 pick when we all know he rode in on the $200k Bentley Auburn bought him, no running backs being selected until the 24th pick (Mark Ingraham – New Orleans), 7 minutes or whatever it was for each team to drag out who they were going to select when you knew it was going to be the next SEC guy on the list, and finally, each team passing up on Randall “Legend” Cobb.

It was miserable, all in the face of a looming lockout.

For this misery I and many of you have suffered through, the NFL draft gets the honors of being the TGR “looker of the week!”