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Feb 25

Postgame Pregame Nonsense: Florida

Posted by: R.A.Pedigo at 11:02 am | Leave a Comment (0)
Category: Pre-Game Nonsense

On February 5, TGR celebrated its 1st birthday. That very night, Kentucky lost a road game in the SEC. If Kentucky has lost a road game in the SEC on your birthday this year, raise your hand. How sad. Here is a little Pregame Nonsense from that day a few weeks ago, enjoy…

– Is their another day on your calendar where more ‘nonsense’ occurs than your birthday? Even though we are only 1 year old and under the legal drinking age, the same goes for TGR. It was suggested by one of our members that we celebrate today by going the entire day without wearing pants. It did not occur to me that everyone in Krogers and in the Winchester Court House would not be in on our little party. I could not believe that police officers allow their back seats to become so chilly to the touch of someone’s legs in the winter. Does our tax money go strictly to the maintenance of interstate medians? How about some heated seats for pantless criminals for crying out loud?!?

What better way to celebrate TGR’s existence after a full year than to compare the #1 of both the Wildcats and the Gators. I am not talking about comparing the urine of the two teams. Why on earth would I want to examine anyone’s urine unless it was that of Shania Twain, I would examine anything of hers. What I mean is those players who wear the#1 jersey for both teams. There is no doubt that Kentucky fans are fully aware of who wears numero uno for the big blue. He is the 2nd favorite son of Maysville, Kentucky and Mason County High School. The one (no pun) and only, former Mr. Basketball in the state of Kentucky, Darius Miller. Darius is a 3 year starter at UK and is currently enduring one of the strangest careers I have ever seen a player have in Lexington. He has been good enough to start for 3 teams loaded with numerous future and current NBA players, yet has had a very disappointing career up to this point according to most fans. Miller does not lack the talent for sure, but something is missing from Darius’s game.

The Gator’s wearer of the #1 is the fantastic, Mr. Kenny Boynton! The Pompano Beach, Florida native is in his sophomore year in Gainesville and has started for the Gators since walking on campus at point guard. KB has led the Gators in scoring 11 times in his career and has never led his team in rebounding ever. He has 25 double digit scoring games in his career, but has no double digit rebounding games. Kenny chose to wear the #1 of Florida over the #1 jersey at Duke, Texas and Georgia Tech.

Instead of determining which of the two players are better on the court, I decided to take a different course. I decided to make-believe that I was former star of the Star Trek series, Asian-American icon, George Takei. George is not only the announcer of The Howard Stern Show, he is also an openly gay American.  I thought to myself, if I were George Takei, which of the #1 wearers would I rather make out with? I am sure George would consider them both to be handsome men, but which would he rather kiss if he had a choice. After at least 2 minutes of deliberations, I have decided that if George Takei was to choose one of these men to lock lips with, he would choose Florida’s Kenny Boynton. It is my personal opinion that Kenny would enjoy the kiss more and therefore is our winner! Congratulations to Kenny and George Takei! C! A! T! S!-

Feb 23

TGR’s Pregame Nonsense; Arkansas

Posted by: R.A.Pedigo at 1:00 pm | Leave a Comment (1)
Category: Pre-Game Nonsense

I haven’t been able to indulge in any “Hump Day nonsense” for quite a few years. As a child, I always enjoyed some PreWeekend Nonsense on Wednesday’s to kick off the vacation I was about to embark on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I wasn’t going on a trip, just a 96 hour binger that you had never seen the likes of before! Will I do that this afternoon to live those days again? Probably. I love to look back on my youth and repeat the awful mistakes I made over and over again. Life is short my friends and if a 31 year old being found on his back porch by his wife wearing nothing more than a party hat and bright yellow Hammer pants is wrong, I sure as hell don’t want to be right. Alright party people, I am all jacked up and ready for nonsense, let’s get to it…

In the last 10 years, Kentuckians and BBN have been no stranger to coaching changes or the speculation that goes with it. When rumors of Tubby’s demise in Lexington began heating up, whispers of his possible replacement were numerous. After the big named coaches run their course, the names of “Kentucky guys” start popping up in conversation. Billy Donovan, Travis Ford, Leonard Hamilton, Rick Pitino, Aminu Timberlake, Larry Stamper, Andre’ Woodson, Michael Porter, Hank  “The Angry Drunken Dwarf”, Ralph hacker, Charlie Sheen, Moammar Gadhafi, and the name most mentioned with a Kentucky connection, John Leslie Pelphrey. Some of those aforementioned names may not have a close relationship to the bluegrass that any of us are aware of, but Paintsville’s John Leslie Pelphrey is a Kentucky legend and beloved by BBN. The 1987 Kentucky Mr. Basketball was “unforgettable” in his stay at UK.  See what I did there? “Unforgettable”?

Now let’s get to the actual ‘nonsense’ Why on earth would anyone who is a true Kentucky fan want John Pelphrey to be head coach at Kentucky? I understand why Rick Pitino would want either Travis Ford or John Pelphrey as Kentucky’s coach.  I would lie, steal, and abort if I thought I might have to compete with the likes of John Calipari for the rest of my career too. That is understandable, but why is BBN so enthralled with John Pelphrey when a coaching job opens up? Does simply being a former player at UK and a son of the bluegrass make you qualified? Does a good run at South Alabama enable you to take the reigns at the greatest basketball program in the history of the game? How would these SEC records sit with BBN? 9–7, 2–14, 7–9, and 5–7     this year? I must point out, those are not SEC records of a team in the competitive SEC East my friends. I know I am probably committing heresy by criticizing such a UK legend, but how does the guy still have a job?

I suppose the point that I am trying to make unsuccessfully is not as much about John as it is the state of basketball at the University of Arkansas. Have they fallen so far that a 67–57 record is acceptable? What ever happened to 40 minutes of hell?  Didn’t you guys fire that dude? A 23–37 SEC record is not giving anyone in the SEC “hell” except one team. We love you John, but we don’t know what to tell you. Seats taken.  C! A! T! S!

Feb 19

TGR’s Pregame Nonsense; South Carolina

Posted by: R.A.Pedigo at 1:43 pm | Leave a Comment (0)
Category: Pre-Game Nonsense

Whenever a plane full of “boys” is expected to land in your area who prefer to be referred to as “Cocks”, Nonsense’ is sure to ensue. I would rather you not ask me anymore about that subject and how I am so clear on that fact.  It only happened twice, I don’t think you are considered a homosexual until the third time. Darn it, things have already gotten off track and I am only a few lines in. I have found that Tequila Sunrises and powdered donuts are a mixture for disaster when I start this post.

Kentuckians are well aware of South Carolina’s head coach, Darrin Horn. He left his alma mater, Western Kentucky, where he was head coach, to take his current position at USC. Horn is probably most remembered around central Kentucky for his guard play on the 1991 run to the state runner-up he and his teammates made at Tates Creek High School. I was 11 years old and remember nothing from his high school career at TCHS.  At that point in my life I was not familiar with Tates Creek at all and was more into playing in creeks. Come to think about it, I still care more about playing in creeks than I do Tates Creek.

What may get lost upon morons like myself in the bluegrass region is that Horn was not born in Lexington or Bowling Green where he is most recognizable. He is actually a native of Glasgow, Kentucky.  That is right TGR fans; the joke is on all of us! For many years we were all duped into thinking Darrin Horn was born somewhere else other than where he was actually born! Boy do we all have egg on our faces! I haven’t’ been this embarrassed since I told you I may or may not have had a weird encounter with a plane full of boys. I feel like such an idiot!  I wish I could tell you the number of times I have told people that Darrin Horn was born somewhere else other than Glasgow. I just don’t understand how I allowed myself to make that mistake!?!

It is common knowledge around my home that ABC’s Diane Sawyer and former state representative   and alleged murderer, Steve Nunn, are both from the Glasgow area, but Darrin tricked me good. Who knew that he might be familiar with The Speckled Pot Cottage Antique and Collectible Store there in Glasgow? The last time I was in there I bought two hand made corn dolls and a lovely quilt that I lay across my couch in the fall.  It makes me curious to what Darrin likes to peruse when he is back in the ol’ home land. My money would be on the delightful candles or primitive items they have so many of. I hope that the folks in the store don’t fall for any of Darrin’s    mischievous tricks like we all did. Oh Darrin…You are such a Cock!  C! A! T! S!

Feb 18

Postgame Pregame Nonsense; South Carolina

Posted by: R.A.Pedigo at 12:35 pm | Leave a Comment (0)
Category: Pre-Game Nonsense

Back on January 22, the cats avenged their 1st loss of the 2009-2010 season at the hands of the greasy Gamecocks. It was a very rare road win for these Wildcats, but before the game, I produced an even rarer ‘Pregame Nonsense’ post, enjoy…

-There is nothing more fulfilling than Saturday afternoon nonsense! Whether you are doing nude snow angels in your front yard, egging your neighbor’s house or both simultaneously, you are undoubtedly having a blast!  The rest of your neighborhood may not be having nearly as good a time as you are, but they are all old and jerks anyway.  The next time that old lady comes out to throw a blanket over me; I swear I am urinating on her slippers.  Why are we here again?  Oh, yeah, I am supposed to entertain you with some of my nonsense!

Due to our top-notch professional journalism over the past day or so, I am assuming you know we are playing the South Carolina Gamecocks tonight in Columbia. Yes, those Gamecocks, and yes, in that gym with that music.  If they need to play techno music to get their fans pumped up, that is fine with me.  My issue is why they only play one techno song, over and over again.  I feel like the USC DJ has passed out after his 3 Zima’s and the ‘Sand Storm’ track is stuck on repeat.  If Kentucky fans are tired of the same songs being played at Rupp each year for the past 20 years, imagine having to hear ‘Mony Mony’ 10 more times than you already do each game. After thinking about it a little, may be USC has a good strategy here.  Could there be a better way to clear out some of the dieing blue hairs in the lower level at Rupp than to blast obnoxious music over and over at each time out? I would vote for Perry Stevenson’s theme song, ‘Party In The USA’ by Miss Cyrus. Let’s here it 35 times a game and see how many season tickets open up next year. A crafty old broad would just turn her hearing aid down, but let’s hope the ‘mad cow’ prevents her from figuring that out.

Does anyone remember Devan Downey?  I know at least two people who will never forget that name, me and Chris Lowery. I am sure I need not introduce you to me and tell you why I will remember the SC point guard. The Cocks “Mighty Midget” was a thorn in the paw of the Wildcats for his entire stay at SC.

He was the main cog in the Cock’s victory over the newly ranked #1 Wildcats last year. Some of his ridiculous shots that went in last year against my undefeated Cats could have not been more painful for BBN. Now, why will Chris Lowery not ever forget Lil D.D. and who the hell is Chris Lowery? Chris, like Devan, was a student at USC in 2008.  According to Chris, one day while on campus there was an incident. Lowery claims Downey approached him in a hostile manner. Lowery says Downey pushed him on the side of his face and left the scene. After the assault, Lowery declined to press charges or seek medical attention. I am guessing, but it sounds like the powers that be at USC advised him that it might not be in his best interest to bust the basketball team’s starting point guard. Later, Chris revealed his bravery and decided to press charges against Devan.  The SC point guard quickly found himself in Richland County’s Alvin S. Glenn Detention Center. Downey was suspended from the basketball team for a little while, I suppose.

My question is this…  Why was Downey not removed from USC and it’s basketball team forever? Are we saying that kids can just ‘smoosh’ their hands into random kids faces without consequence?  I am demanding a full blown NCAA investigation into this incident and would recommend SC have to forfeit all of the games Downey played in after this happened in May of 2008. It is my conclusion that after this is looked into, Kentucky will be rewarded with a victory instead of the loss they suffered to the Cocks. President Obama would also be let off the hook for the loss with Kentucky’s Republicans. C! A! T! S!-

Feb 15

TGR’s Pregame Nonsense; Mississippi State

Posted by: R.A.Pedigo at 1:00 pm | Leave a Comment (6)
Category: Pre-Game Nonsense

Just when you thought the world had cleansed itself of ‘Nonsense’ thanks to a bunch of angry Egyptians…I am back! You damn patriots may have gotten Ol’ Hosni Mubarak to quit, but I am going to be an entirely different opponent! Let’s just put it this way, I am fast. To give you a reference point, I’m somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. And a panther. That is right Egyptians! A country boy can survive!

Tonight we welcome the Mississippi State Bulldogs to town for a Tuesday night tilt in Rupp Arena. Needless to say, the Bulldogs and the Wildcats have built quite a rivalry over the past few years. From Mississippi State fans acquiring the cell phone number of Demarcus Cousins and leaving him racist voice mails, to Big Cuz encouraging the MSU fans to “Call Him”, to the throwing of trash on the floor by MSU fans, to the classic SEC championship game last year in Nashville, things are at an all time high in the UK/MSU rivalry. The only negative for Bulldog fans is in recent history, they have not won on the court. They have proven to be handy with a cell phone and great with a water bottle, but basketball is not the strong suit for MSU at the moment.

Unlike last year, MSU has managed to fail off the court this year. Not only are all of their fans complete and total douche canoes, their ‘Nonsense’ has spread to their team off the court. I am sure most of you are familiar with an off the court incident a couple of MSU players had at the 2010 Diamond Head Classic  in Honolulu earlier this season. Cameras caught Renardo Sidney and Elgin Bailey in a fight while another game took place on the court not involving MSU. Not only were the two Bulldogs teammates, they were also roommates. The two players were sent home from the islands, suspended indefinitely, reinstated by MSU, and MSU captain, Elgin Bailey , decided to transfer out of crappy Starkville.

I don’t want it to seem as if I am celebrating the misfortunes of the Mississippi State program. I am actually doing much more than that.  The one detail that I find fascinating within this story is the alleged reasoning for the entire fight. According to reports, Bailey was the instigator of the scuffle because he didn’t move his feet in the aisle while Sidney was trying to walk past him, antagonizing Sidney into a fight. I find this quite humorous because I run into this situation all the time. No matter where I am, it always seems like I have to deal with people’s feet in my way. This would be my advice for Renardo Sidney …Roll right over their damn feet. If Elgin Bailey and the morons who show up in my world want to keep their feet unharmed, protect them. Move them when a 6’11” basketball player needs past you and move them when a 200 pound man in a 25 pound wheelchair needs by you, it is very simple. If you choose not to move your ugly little feet, one of two things can happen to you in this situation…You can have your feet crushed by a giant giggling man in a wheelchair or you can have your head pummeled by a teammate on national television and be forced to transfer from your university to BFE Tech, the choice is yours.

‘Call me’ state fans and watch your feet…C! A! T! S!

Feb 14

Postgame Pregame Nonsense; Mississippi State

Posted by: R.A.Pedigo at 6:08 pm | Leave a Comment (0)
Category: Pre-Game Nonsense

Jarvis Varnado may no longer be in Starkville, but he will live forever in our hearts! Here is some ‘Pregame nonsense’ from last February…

“This morning I took a gander at the Twitter page of Mississippi State’s stud center, Jarvis Varnado.  He is not a very frequent Twitterer, or Tweeter, or Tweety, or however you say someone does whatever they do when they twitter something.  In fact, Big Jar, as he is known around my crib, has not tweeted since August 25th.  His latest tweet caught my eye though and raised several questions.

He tweeted…”Workouts kicking my butt…but got to stay focus on my goal”

First of all, Who is “Workout”?, and why are the Starkville Police allowing this thug to assault the best player on the MSU basketball team? I bet “Workout” was a big nerd in high school and then hit a late growth spurt, now he does immature things that he was not physically able to do back then, stupid loser.

Next question?  How strong is Jarvis with a phone that he can send out tweets while he is getting his butt kicked by a criminal? If I was Motorola or Nokia, Jarvis would be reenacting this whole scenario in my next commercial, what a truly tough guy he must be!

Finally, I am questioning Jarvis’s intelligence a bit. He said, “but got to stay focus on my goal”.  What could possibly be a more important goal to think about at this moment than finding a way to escape your attacker? I appreciate the will power, but come on!  You need to put the phone down and run you big dumb idiot!“

Feb 12

TGR’s Pregame Nonsense; Vanderbilt

Posted by: R.A.Pedigo at 10:40 am | Leave a Comment (0)
Category: Pre-Game Nonsense

Good mornin’ party people and welcome to your own personal hell!  It is what you make of it, so let’s all try to settle down and deal with the next 45 seconds of your life as civilly as we can. There is a  78% chance I still have a slight buzz from last night, but that is none of your business. We have gathered here today to discuss Ricky martin, rice crispy treats, and their effect on society, I think. I hope to god you are not nearly as confused as I am. It is time for our annual trip to that crap-tastic gymnasium in Nashville, so, let’s get the ‘Nonsense’ flowing!

The Vanderbilt University Commodores! Whenever I hear that name, I can only think of two things…Nerds and how I don’t really know what a Commodore is. Based on Vandy’s lovely mascot, Mr. C, it is either some form of military ranking or a very odd sexual fetish.  The reason that I believe it to be the latter is because I know at least 3 writers for TGR who have shared with me their unabashed love for Mr. C. According to Wikipedia, The term commodore was used by the Navy during the mid- to late nineteenth century. A commodore was the commanding officer of a task force of ships, and therefore higher in rank than a captain but lower in rank than an admiral. It was the highest rank in the United States Navy until the Civil War. The closest parallel to this now-defunct rank is rear admiral lower-half. Basically what the most reliable source on the internet is telling us is that Commodores no longer exist. It is my opinion that the military finally figured out how ridiculous it was for a man to dress like that and got rid of their fairy asses.

I can hear you loud and clear TGR…What does a defunct navy rank have to do with a school in Nashville, Tennessee? The school’s founder, Commodore Cornelius Vanderbilt is the connection. The odd thing is, Cornelius was as much a Commodore in the military as Perry Stevenson was. Mr. Vanderbilt made a ton of money and was given the nickname, “Commodore”, because his fortune was built in the shipping business. If you step back and ponder this, Vanderbilt was Tennessee’s version of Colonel Sanders. A man who was given a nickname that would make you think he was in the military when nothing could be farther from the truth. At least the ‘Colonel’ ranking still exists within the armed services. I am almost positive master P was Colonel of the mother f**king tank.

Since it is the closest ranking to a ‘Commodore’, I would love to see the university update its nickname by changing it to Vanderbilt University Rear Admiral Lower-half’s. That or Vanderbilt university Ragin’ Nerds! C! A! T! S!

Feb 11

Postgame Pregame Nonsense; Vanderbilt

Posted by: R.A.Pedigo at 10:47 am | Leave a Comment (0)
Category: Pre-Game Nonsense

Since the cats are taking a trip down I-65, why not take a trip down Kevin Stallings memory lane? Here is some Pregame Nonsense from last year, enjoy!

“In the past few days I have had trouble getting two things off my mind. The first, why does cauliflower look like that? I really enjoy eating it on salads and what have you, but does it seriously need to look that way? I hope one day that our federal tax dollars will go towards something wonderful like making cauliflower look more like olives or turnips without losing the delicious taste.

The second question that has been bothering me is where is Vanderbilt Head Coach Kevin Stallings from? I know, right? You and your neighbor were wondering the same thing last night over a pot of coffee.  I didn’t call Vanderbilt last night and found out that Coach is actually from Collinsville, Illinois. The St. Louis suburb has a growing population of 24,707. I hope you are half as excited about hearing this info as I am about typing it! Collinsville is the self proclaimed “Horseradish Capital of the World”. It is said that their fire department actually puts out fires with the delicious creamy version of the condiment. If that doesn’t hav you packing your bags for the small Midwestern city, this might. Collinsville is also home to “the world’s largest catsup bottle”, a 170 foot tall water tower in the shape of a ketchup bottle.

I know exactly what you must be thinking, R.A. you are one of the finest American’s ever to live, and I really appreciate that. If you are like me though, the horse radish and the ketchup thing is not a big deal. It is what might come about if Collinsville, hometown of R.E.M lead singer Michael Stipe, ever decided to combine their two most wonderful resources…

KETCHUP + HORSE RADISH = COCKTAIL SAUCE!

My good friend, anyone who knows anything, knows that there is nothing sweeter than fresh cocktail sauce! I am sure Little Kevin Stallings feels the same way; I am surprised R.E.M doesn’t have a song dedicated to the subject. The next time you are rollin’ dirty through the mean streets of Collinsville, make sure you allow yourself to take it all in, you are in a wonderful place.

Go Cats!

Feb 8

TGR’s Pregame Nonsense; Tennessee

Posted by: R.A.Pedigo at 7:40 pm | Leave a Comment (0)
Category: Pre-Game Nonsense

If things continue in the same direction they are currently heading in, a much larger dose of ‘Pregame Nonsense’ may be needed in order to cope in BBN. Losing to Ole Miss and Florida in back to back games in football is one thing, losing to them in basketball is a completely different one. It is time to jack up the volume on this TGR boom box and get to our game day preparations!

I am sure that some of you are familiar with our reporting of the trials and tribulations of the living mascot of the University of Tennessee athletic program, Smokey. A year ago, we first alerted the country to the terrible addiction the Vols lovable blue tick hound was dealing with. As I said in that first TGR news report, I don’t look down upon Smokey from my ‘drug free’ pedestal. Instead, I pity the fool as Mr. T would. The first question I got from most readers was, “How could he light the lighter, he doesn’t have plausible thumbs? “My only answer to that is…exactly.

In the Fall, we gave you an update on Smokey and his situation in Knoxville. We told you about some very charitable Kentucky fans who felt Smokey’s issues were getting worse and that they needed to step in. The UK alumni convinced 3 members of the DARE role model program from across the country to fly to Tennessee to assist in Smokey’s   recovery, only to have them sidetracked by Tennessee basketball head coach, Bruce Pearl, with an invitation to a cookout at the coach’s home.

Until now, the last word that we received from those in and around Knoxville was that Smokey had started an illegal puppy mill and was selling his offspring to China for crack cocaine and eggrolls, Smokey’s favorite. Smokey, who’s name was originally thought to be connected to the Great Smokey Mountains of east Tennessee, apparently gathered all of the bitches (female dogs) from the UT campus in order to build his puppy stable. His addiction to crack has taken full control of his damn dog mind and he sees no problem in whoring out the tramps and mutts around town. Not only is he selling sex to the hounds around town unsatisfied with their marriages, he is encouraging his girls to not use protection in order to get pregnant. Smokey has discovered that the online sell of dogs to China is a very lucrative business and with the money he is making, he can get his fix and all of the shrimp eggrolls a blue tick hound can eat.

In just over a year, Smokey has built quite the clientele. From former Tennessee governors to former Tennessee basketball players, everyone who has had one of Smokey’s hoe’s comes away satisfied. Recently, a certain University of Tennessee employee was suspended temporarily from his job at UT. Reports from around Knoxville indicate that throughout the UT employee’s suspension, he was a frequent customer of Smokey’s services. Rumors have the UT employee being very fond of a certain Labrador retriever named “Bitch Tits” and a German Sheppard named “Robin Quivers”.  Nothing has been confirmed, but, former tricks once employed by Smokey, state several of the coach’s, I mean UT employee’s, offspring have been sent to the Far East in the illegal puppy trade.

We have a pending tragedy on our hands TGR and we need to do something about it. Smokey has fallen deeper into the life of crime and is nearly to the point of no return. I beg of you, if you are in China in the near future and see any over weight German Sheppard’s or Labrador retrievers with orange highlights in their fur, do not purchase one! The best way to get to the Tennessee criminal element at this point is to hit them where it hurts, in their wallets. If you would like to send Smokey any monetary assistance, send your credit card number to robp@tailgatereview.com

C! A!! T! S!

Feb 5

TGR’s Pregame Nonsense: Florida

Posted by: R.A.Pedigo at 6:53 pm | Leave a Comment (0)
Category: Pre-Game Nonsense

Is their another day on your calendar where more ‘nonsense’ occurs than your birthday? Even though we are only 1 year old and under the legal drinking age, the same goes for TGR. It was suggested by one of our members that we celebrate today by going the entire day without wearing pants. It did not occur to me that everyone in Krogers and in the Winchester Court House would not be in on our little party. I  could not believe that police officers allow their back seats to become so chilly to the touch of someone’s legs in the winter. Does our tax money go strictly to the maintenance of interstate medians?  How about some heated seats for pantless criminals for crying out loud?!?

What better way to celebrate TGR’s  existence after a full year than to compare the #1 of both the Wildcats and the Gators.  I am not talking about comparing the urine of the two teams.  Why on earth would I want to examine anyone’s urine unless it was that of Shania Twain, I would examine anything of hers. What I mean is those players who wear the#1 jersey for both teams. There is no doubt that Kentucky fans are fully aware of who wears numero uno for the big blue. He is the 2nd favorite son of Maysville, Kentucky and Mason County High School.  The one (no pun) and only, former Mr. Basketball in the state of Kentucky, Darius Miller. Darius is a 3 year starter at UK and is currently enduring one of the  strangest careers I have ever seen a player have in Lexington. He has been good enough to start for 3 teams loaded with numerous future and current NBA players, yet has had a very  disappointing career up to this point according to most fans. Miller does not lack the talent for sure, but something is missing from Darius’s game.

The Gator’s wearer of the #1 is the fantastic, Mr. Kenny Boynton! The Pompano Beach, Florida native is in his sophomore year in Gainesville and has started for the Gators since walking on campus at point guard. KB has led the Gators in scoring 11 times in his career and has never led his team in rebounding ever. He has 25 double digit scoring games in his career, but has no double digit rebounding  games. Kenny chose to wear the #1 of Florida over the #1 jersey at Duke, Texas and Georgia Tech.

Instead of determining which of the two players are better on the court, I decided to take a different course. I decided to make-believe that I  was former star of the Star Trek series, Asian-American icon, George Takei. George is not only the announcer of The Howard Stern Show, he is also an openly gay American. I thought to myself, if I were George Takei,  which of the #1 wearers would I rather make out with? I am sure George would consider them both to be handsome men, but which would he rather kiss if he had a choice. After at least 2 minutes of deliberations, I have decided that if George Takei was to choose one of these men to lock lips with, he would choose Florida’s Kenny Boynton.  It is my personal opinion that Kenny would enjoy the kiss more and therefore is our winner! Congratulations to Kenny and George Takei! C! A! T! S!