On February 5, TGR celebrated its 1st birthday. That very night, Kentucky lost a road game in the SEC. If Kentucky has lost a road game in the SEC on your birthday this year, raise your hand. How sad. Here is a little Pregame Nonsense from that day a few weeks ago, enjoy…
– Is their another day on your calendar where more ‘nonsense’ occurs than your birthday? Even though we are only 1 year old and under the legal drinking age, the same goes for TGR. It was suggested by one of our members that we celebrate today by going the entire day without wearing pants. It did not occur to me that everyone in Krogers and in the Winchester Court House would not be in on our little party. I could not believe that police officers allow their back seats to become so chilly to the touch of someone’s legs in the winter. Does our tax money go strictly to the maintenance of interstate medians? How about some heated seats for pantless criminals for crying out loud?!?
What better way to celebrate TGR’s existence after a full year than to compare the #1 of both the Wildcats and the Gators. I am not talking about comparing the urine of the two teams. Why on earth would I want to examine anyone’s urine unless it was that of Shania Twain, I would examine anything of hers. What I mean is those players who wear the#1 jersey for both teams. There is no doubt that Kentucky fans are fully aware of who wears numero uno for the big blue. He is the 2nd favorite son of Maysville, Kentucky and Mason County High School. The one (no pun) and only, former Mr. Basketball in the state of Kentucky, Darius Miller. Darius is a 3 year starter at UK and is currently enduring one of the strangest careers I have ever seen a player have in Lexington. He has been good enough to start for 3 teams loaded with numerous future and current NBA players, yet has had a very disappointing career up to this point according to most fans. Miller does not lack the talent for sure, but something is missing from Darius’s game.
The Gator’s wearer of the #1 is the fantastic, Mr. Kenny Boynton! The Pompano Beach, Florida native is in his sophomore year in Gainesville and has started for the Gators since walking on campus at point guard. KB has led the Gators in scoring 11 times in his career and has never led his team in rebounding ever. He has 25 double digit scoring games in his career, but has no double digit rebounding games. Kenny chose to wear the #1 of Florida over the #1 jersey at Duke, Texas and Georgia Tech.
Instead of determining which of the two players are better on the court, I decided to take a different course. I decided to make-believe that I was former star of the Star Trek series, Asian-American icon, George Takei. George is not only the announcer of The Howard Stern Show, he is also an openly gay American. I thought to myself, if I were George Takei, which of the #1 wearers would I rather make out with? I am sure George would consider them both to be handsome men, but which would he rather kiss if he had a choice. After at least 2 minutes of deliberations, I have decided that if George Takei was to choose one of these men to lock lips with, he would choose Florida’s Kenny Boynton. It is my personal opinion that Kenny would enjoy the kiss more and therefore is our winner! Congratulations to Kenny and George Takei! C! A! T! S!-